Don't stop the bad habits until you really know you want to

Many of us want to stop bad habits and even know why we started them in the first place. Some people say you have to set your mind in the right direction, or wait until something 'clicks' in your mind. These are metaphors for how we want to be because your brain does not make clicking noises, nor does it follow any direction, unless it is programmed to go that way. Programming our mind is yet another metaphor, because although we refer to our mind like a computer, it is not a computer. We do feed in information of course, but what the mind works on is what results we get and what we get from whatever it is that we are doing.

Take overeating for example. There is an epidemic of people who are overweight, sometimes just a stone or so,others who are vastly overweight. These people know they are carrying too much fat, they don't want to be like that, but they don't cut their food intake. In many cases, particularly with emotional eating, there is some anxiety going on, maybe even past events that have not been resolved, and food is a good substitute for easing anxiety. Then there is the vicious circle of being depressed because they are fat, but then eating more because they are depressed.

We get something from doing these habits. If you smoke, you know you poison your body each time you light up. You don't need anyone to tell you that, but you continue to do it. Why? Because what you get from smoking the cigarette is more important that stopping. It gives you pleasure, and you would rather continue doing it because you think or feel that stopping would cause you pain, like withdrawal symptoms. You simply can't get your mind around the fact that it does not take that long to get over an addiction.

BUT, you have to want to do it, you have to want to see an alternative direction as pleasurable instead of painful.

If you are scared to stop smoking, eating too much, drinking too much, taking drugs, or any other compulsive habit, then therapy helps you to find out what scares you about stopping

If you would prefer to overeat because you get a payoff from it, then you could explore what keeps in you in this conflict all the time.

We all know the benefits from stopping compulsions, you have them in your head all the time. Your brain needs to know that being slimmer has many rewards, and it needs a picture to go with it to make it happen. It needs to hear your voice sounding confident and sure that this is what you want. You need to feel the emotions of being free from addictions and what that would mean to you.

When you do this, it means you are beginning to programme your mind more effectively.