When people just decided to get fit and lose weight overnight, they often lose the motivation rather than the weight.
Planning is the most important part of making changes. You wouldn't move house overnight without plenty of planning that has gone into the idea would you?
First of all is has to be a pleasurable experience. No point in starting if you already sigh with the thought of having to lose weight. Don't even try if that is how you feel.
You have heard of the pain and pleasure principal perhaps? Well the idea of being fit and healthy has to be the pleasure principal.
Ask yourself these questions:
What benefits will be there in being fitter?
What results will you see for the effort you put into it?
How will you feel when your clothes are looser?
How much effort are you prepared to put into it?
If you have answered positively, then continue.
Planning for positive results will help you to be successful
Monday, 31 December 2012
Monday, 17 December 2012
Mobile phone addiction
I had never heard of the medical term for mobile phone addiction, and I guess you din't either, as very few people looked at my blog Nomophobia, but that is what it is called! Who comes up with these names. I guess I would have used what most people would recognise, mobilephobia.
It means fear of being without your phone, and it is easy to get sucked into thinking you need your mobile with you day and night, alone or with others.
It is not funny being with someone who is texting, while you are sitting there like a dummy.
It is addictive though, and can mess up your head and cause great anxieties.
Don't believe me? Try leaving your phone switched off for the next six hours, and notice if you feel anxious or not. If you don't, great, you don't suffer with Nomophobia. If you do, well ..........
It means fear of being without your phone, and it is easy to get sucked into thinking you need your mobile with you day and night, alone or with others.
It is not funny being with someone who is texting, while you are sitting there like a dummy.
It is addictive though, and can mess up your head and cause great anxieties.
Don't believe me? Try leaving your phone switched off for the next six hours, and notice if you feel anxious or not. If you don't, great, you don't suffer with Nomophobia. If you do, well ..........
Monday, 10 December 2012
How do you overcome fear of failure?
Fear of failure is probably one of the most common reasons why people procrastinate.
We all encounter inevitable set backs and rejections, but how do we overcome that overwhelming fear of something going wrong which then stops us doing what we really want to do?
If we have a script in our head that says, 'whats the point of doing anything when I know it will go wrong', then it is more than likely we will fail if we do it.
If we think of all the highly successful people, the inventors, the scientists et al, then we must know that they had to fail many times before they achieved success.
My own personal theory about fear of failure is that we learn it at school. Not only teachers who may have been cross with us or ridiculed us if we got things wrong, but our peer groups who may have laughed at us.
How many people do you know who have had failures in life, but have bounced back and had successes? Not just professionally but personally successes?
I wonder what they told themselves when things did not work out well or they encountered setbacks and rejections?
In sales, I learned that no, does not necessarily mean never, and so if I was rejected, I just kept going, because maybe I could turn it into a yea at some point.
How many people take it really personally when someone says no? Most of us I suspect.
And another thing, how on earth do X Factor contestants get over being rejected. We often hear them say they will not let it put them off, but I wonder how true that is.
We all encounter inevitable set backs and rejections, but how do we overcome that overwhelming fear of something going wrong which then stops us doing what we really want to do?
If we have a script in our head that says, 'whats the point of doing anything when I know it will go wrong', then it is more than likely we will fail if we do it.
If we think of all the highly successful people, the inventors, the scientists et al, then we must know that they had to fail many times before they achieved success.
My own personal theory about fear of failure is that we learn it at school. Not only teachers who may have been cross with us or ridiculed us if we got things wrong, but our peer groups who may have laughed at us.
How many people do you know who have had failures in life, but have bounced back and had successes? Not just professionally but personally successes?
I wonder what they told themselves when things did not work out well or they encountered setbacks and rejections?
In sales, I learned that no, does not necessarily mean never, and so if I was rejected, I just kept going, because maybe I could turn it into a yea at some point.
How many people take it really personally when someone says no? Most of us I suspect.
And another thing, how on earth do X Factor contestants get over being rejected. We often hear them say they will not let it put them off, but I wonder how true that is.
Do you suffer with Nomophobia?
Nomophobia is a fear of being without a mobile phone.
How do you know if you have got Nomophobia?
Do you:
Worry if you have not got your mobile at hand or within sight and sound?
Keep it on during the night and respond to messages during your normal sleep time?
Panic if you think you have lost your phone?
Panic if you think it has broken or not working?
Feel upset if people don't respond quickly to your texts/emails/whatsapp, or BBM?
If you do, then you need to have some help to control it.
How do you know if you have got Nomophobia?
Do you:
Worry if you have not got your mobile at hand or within sight and sound?
Keep it on during the night and respond to messages during your normal sleep time?
Panic if you think you have lost your phone?
Panic if you think it has broken or not working?
Feel upset if people don't respond quickly to your texts/emails/whatsapp, or BBM?
If you do, then you need to have some help to control it.
Tuesday, 4 December 2012
Loneliness
Loneliness does not mean you are alone. It can mean that even with a group of people, you feel a bit lost and lonely. There are plenty of reasons that make us feel lonely.
Seeing everyone having fun, but we feel down and depressed so cannot join in.
Missing someone special who either cannot be with you or chooses not to be with you.
Unresolved issues with people that constantly seem to be in our upper mind.
Not feeling good enough to join in with the fun.
Being afraid of letting go and casting off inhibitions.
Worrying what others think of you.
Anger and resentment of those having fun.
Guilty that you should not be enjoying yourself.
The list can go on, but it does not always have to be this way.
Sometimes just throwing caution to the wind and letting yourself go is a good thing.
Seeing everyone having fun, but we feel down and depressed so cannot join in.
Missing someone special who either cannot be with you or chooses not to be with you.
Unresolved issues with people that constantly seem to be in our upper mind.
Not feeling good enough to join in with the fun.
Being afraid of letting go and casting off inhibitions.
Worrying what others think of you.
Anger and resentment of those having fun.
Guilty that you should not be enjoying yourself.
The list can go on, but it does not always have to be this way.
Sometimes just throwing caution to the wind and letting yourself go is a good thing.
Parties
As we have been spending a lot of time in London, it was great to be invited to a Christmas do.
What I liked most about it was that everyone was out to have a great time and the singing and dancing started straight away even during the first course of the meal.
I reflected later how much fun I had and how good it made me feel to watch others having a good time. It must affect us at a molecular level.
I thought about some people who don't join in the spirit of things and deny themselves that feel good feeling. Or others who seem to have to drink copious amounts of alcohol before they feel confident to join in with the fun.
If this is you, then you may want to consider whether or not you just enjoy drinking, and could easily have a good time without it, or whether you lack in confidence and alcohol makes you feel more confident because you lose your inhibitions.
It's quite natural for younger people to have a need to drink to forget their troubles, but if you can't have a good time without it, then you may want to ask yourself why.
What I liked most about it was that everyone was out to have a great time and the singing and dancing started straight away even during the first course of the meal.
I reflected later how much fun I had and how good it made me feel to watch others having a good time. It must affect us at a molecular level.
I thought about some people who don't join in the spirit of things and deny themselves that feel good feeling. Or others who seem to have to drink copious amounts of alcohol before they feel confident to join in with the fun.
If this is you, then you may want to consider whether or not you just enjoy drinking, and could easily have a good time without it, or whether you lack in confidence and alcohol makes you feel more confident because you lose your inhibitions.
It's quite natural for younger people to have a need to drink to forget their troubles, but if you can't have a good time without it, then you may want to ask yourself why.
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Liver disease caused by excessive drinking
The government is being urged to help deal with liver disease. The causes are usually too much alcohol, obesity and lifestyles that are not healthy.
The problem most people face with binge drinking, or indeed with any compulsions is that they feel compelled to do the behaviour, so making the public aware of the health problems does not always work.
In England liver disease is up by 20% but down by 20% in European countries. Now I sound like George Orwell's book 1984. In the book statistics were read out each day, mostly propaganda.
How do people come to terms with their excess alcohol intake?
Think of cause and effect. What causes you to want to that kind of behaviour? In some ways we can understand binge drinking when you go out with friends and are keeping up with them and the amounts they drink. Even so, it is dangerous because often people don't know what they have done or even where they have been.
Drinking in isolation is more serious because it may be that alcohol covers up emotions that are hard to deal with. It is easier to get out of our head so to speak, rather than face up to life's problems.
And of course, when you sober up, you still have the problems waiting for you.
There are many ways of coming to terms with compulsions, and certainly hypnosis and all the techniques we use help to overcome the problems, so that you can deal with them in a more effective way.
Amazingly, the liver can repair itself most times unless of course you damage it repeatedly, and then it just gives up.
Is it time for you to stop drinking?
The problem most people face with binge drinking, or indeed with any compulsions is that they feel compelled to do the behaviour, so making the public aware of the health problems does not always work.
In England liver disease is up by 20% but down by 20% in European countries. Now I sound like George Orwell's book 1984. In the book statistics were read out each day, mostly propaganda.
How do people come to terms with their excess alcohol intake?
Think of cause and effect. What causes you to want to that kind of behaviour? In some ways we can understand binge drinking when you go out with friends and are keeping up with them and the amounts they drink. Even so, it is dangerous because often people don't know what they have done or even where they have been.
Drinking in isolation is more serious because it may be that alcohol covers up emotions that are hard to deal with. It is easier to get out of our head so to speak, rather than face up to life's problems.
And of course, when you sober up, you still have the problems waiting for you.
There are many ways of coming to terms with compulsions, and certainly hypnosis and all the techniques we use help to overcome the problems, so that you can deal with them in a more effective way.
Amazingly, the liver can repair itself most times unless of course you damage it repeatedly, and then it just gives up.
Is it time for you to stop drinking?
Monday, 19 November 2012
Hello, anyone out there?
Hello anyone out there? yes, that means you! I know there are many people who read my blogs because I get the stats each time I publish anything. I know I am not writing to myself too, and it would be nice if you posted a comment every now and then.
Thanks to those who do. Then I know I am not alone
Thanks to those who do. Then I know I am not alone
Motivational books
How to motivate others. I just looked on a web site that sells inspiration and motivational books. There are hundreds of them. How would you know which one to choose?
When someone becomes inspired to do really well in life, they can motivate others with their success can't they?
If it were that easy, there would only ever be one diet book, one fitness book, one motivation book. We would just follow what that person says and become like them. Wouldn't we?
We know that this is not the case.
I was speaking to someone today who was in his late twenties and was well over a normal weight, and very unfit. He said it took him a while for something to click in his mind to take action, and it was a photo that he did not like. It also took him some time to get into a proper fitness routine, eat more healthy without resorting to fad diets or restrictive diets. Now he is fit, slim, very attractive and very happy. His fitness goes from strength to strength, and all because he has the right attitude.
Weight loss clubs rely on failure because that's what makes the money for them. If everyone was successful, they would have fewer members because everyone would be successful.
What inspires one person disinterests another. On a forum for hypnotherapists I notices someone had dismissed 'The Secret'along with many other kind of therapies too. I pitied his clients as it would seem that this person only favours one way of working. His way!!
My theory is that if you find a book that excites and inspires you, read it several times because it will sink in even more deeply and you will learn even more from it.
When someone becomes inspired to do really well in life, they can motivate others with their success can't they?
If it were that easy, there would only ever be one diet book, one fitness book, one motivation book. We would just follow what that person says and become like them. Wouldn't we?
We know that this is not the case.
I was speaking to someone today who was in his late twenties and was well over a normal weight, and very unfit. He said it took him a while for something to click in his mind to take action, and it was a photo that he did not like. It also took him some time to get into a proper fitness routine, eat more healthy without resorting to fad diets or restrictive diets. Now he is fit, slim, very attractive and very happy. His fitness goes from strength to strength, and all because he has the right attitude.
Weight loss clubs rely on failure because that's what makes the money for them. If everyone was successful, they would have fewer members because everyone would be successful.
What inspires one person disinterests another. On a forum for hypnotherapists I notices someone had dismissed 'The Secret'along with many other kind of therapies too. I pitied his clients as it would seem that this person only favours one way of working. His way!!
My theory is that if you find a book that excites and inspires you, read it several times because it will sink in even more deeply and you will learn even more from it.
Sunday, 11 November 2012
Cleaning your mind
Cleaning your mind would be so helpful from time to time. I thought of this when I was cleaning out my oven. Yes you would think I had something better to do with my time on such a lovely sunny day, but I had been to the beach with the dogs, and now it was time to get down to what is essentially a dirty job. I reminder that if I ever win any money, I shall have my oven professionally cleaned once a month.
The cleaning stuff I used today must have been industrial strength because even though I had gloves on, my nail started peeling away!
I thought about how our mind can become caked on with negative thoughts which produce many negative feelings, and if only we could get the industrial cleaning stuff to remove the negative thoughts, life would be so much simpler.
So we are left with just us working towards removing the negative thoughts, and I love it when I see a client may two or three years later and they are still using the techniques and instructions I gave them.
Yes clients do return because there is no such thing as being 'fixed'. We are always a work in progress. Things happen in life so of course, if clients trust me, they will return and work through the issues they have at that time.
You don't just go to the dentist once. A mental check up does no harm, and does a great deal of good.
The cleaning stuff I used today must have been industrial strength because even though I had gloves on, my nail started peeling away!
I thought about how our mind can become caked on with negative thoughts which produce many negative feelings, and if only we could get the industrial cleaning stuff to remove the negative thoughts, life would be so much simpler.
So we are left with just us working towards removing the negative thoughts, and I love it when I see a client may two or three years later and they are still using the techniques and instructions I gave them.
Yes clients do return because there is no such thing as being 'fixed'. We are always a work in progress. Things happen in life so of course, if clients trust me, they will return and work through the issues they have at that time.
You don't just go to the dentist once. A mental check up does no harm, and does a great deal of good.
Thursday, 8 November 2012
National Stress awareness day
I missed the awareness day because I was working in London with people who are stressed!!!
Stress is good though, and we all need to experience it from time to time because it is what keeps us safe. Imagine if you never ever felt stressed? You might drive down the road at 90 miles an hour because you could and would never be worried about the consequences.
It is HOW you handle stress that matters. If you recognise your job or home life is stressful, but know there is little you can do about the situation, then it is important how you handle it, and what you do to relieve high stress points. If your body is at full stress level all day, which means that you are producing stress chemicals in your body, and then you go home to even more stress, then all those chemicals are rushing round your body 24/7.
There is so much information about how to deal with stress. Two things I recommend:
Deep breathing several times per day for five minutes. You may feel dizzy but that will be because your brain is receiving more oxygen than usual which is a good thing, and secondly, experience hypnosis which slows down your brain waves, (scientific fact) and therefore you are able to process information more easily.
Stress is good though, and we all need to experience it from time to time because it is what keeps us safe. Imagine if you never ever felt stressed? You might drive down the road at 90 miles an hour because you could and would never be worried about the consequences.
It is HOW you handle stress that matters. If you recognise your job or home life is stressful, but know there is little you can do about the situation, then it is important how you handle it, and what you do to relieve high stress points. If your body is at full stress level all day, which means that you are producing stress chemicals in your body, and then you go home to even more stress, then all those chemicals are rushing round your body 24/7.
There is so much information about how to deal with stress. Two things I recommend:
Deep breathing several times per day for five minutes. You may feel dizzy but that will be because your brain is receiving more oxygen than usual which is a good thing, and secondly, experience hypnosis which slows down your brain waves, (scientific fact) and therefore you are able to process information more easily.
Attitudes to life
What is your attitude to life? NLP is described as an attitude, but what dos that specifically mean?
Working in London as much as I have during this last month, I am often interested in the attitude of city people compared to the fairly quiet backwaters of Norwich, and yes that is a city too, but on a quieter scale than London I think you might agree.
The people I have been training are highly motivated in their work, but I was surprised to find that many of them go home at night, watch telly and go to bed. So who are these people I see in the pubs at night? I am amazed how busy the pubs and restaurants are, packed out even early evening.
I am sure that is is a different lifestyle there, and I know that not many of them do the tourist thing in London, that's left to the tourists coming in. We are probably the same here. How many of us have taken the tourist bus in Norwich, or done all the other tourist things? Is that because we think we know all there is to know about Norwich?
Sometimes things are right on our doorstep and we don't even see them!
I am now beginning to feel sad when I leave London, (never thought I would say that) but it is beginning to almost feel like home now. On the positive side, its good to have two places to call home, and they say , whoever 'they' are, that home is where the heart is.
Working in London as much as I have during this last month, I am often interested in the attitude of city people compared to the fairly quiet backwaters of Norwich, and yes that is a city too, but on a quieter scale than London I think you might agree.
The people I have been training are highly motivated in their work, but I was surprised to find that many of them go home at night, watch telly and go to bed. So who are these people I see in the pubs at night? I am amazed how busy the pubs and restaurants are, packed out even early evening.
I am sure that is is a different lifestyle there, and I know that not many of them do the tourist thing in London, that's left to the tourists coming in. We are probably the same here. How many of us have taken the tourist bus in Norwich, or done all the other tourist things? Is that because we think we know all there is to know about Norwich?
Sometimes things are right on our doorstep and we don't even see them!
I am now beginning to feel sad when I leave London, (never thought I would say that) but it is beginning to almost feel like home now. On the positive side, its good to have two places to call home, and they say , whoever 'they' are, that home is where the heart is.
Tuesday, 30 October 2012
Health Science Institute
I have been subscribing to HSI for a number of years now and am often horrified by the continual use of drugs with awful side effects. I am a great believer in taking drugs if my life depended on it, but not if there are other ways of relieving symptoms using natural products.
We are aware of how Statins causes so many horrible side effects, and how BP medication for hypertension can cause other problems in the body. Doctors work on statistics and risk factors, but as we become more aware of our own bodies and the internet where we can research complaints, we could take more control of our body and not be led down the path of drug use just because our GP says so. I would never tell anyone to stop medication, it is not for me to do so, but I like to think I can have a say in what treatment if I should need it, I agree to. I know too many people who just take the drugs because their GP says so.
I like HSI, because not only does it inform us of how drug companies lure us into taking their drugs for the big bucks they make, but it offers us alternative treatments. Yes it costs money, but I would rather pay for Benecol each day to keep my cholesterol low than to take a drug that causes horrible side effects. And Benecol does work by the way, so there is an alternative to Statins.
I was shocked many years ago by some American friends who had been prescribed by their medical practitioner to take hypertension drugs and Statins when they were 50, even though their BP was only moderately high. That means potentially they could be on the drugs for 30 years or more if they live that long.
Check out HSI for more information
We are aware of how Statins causes so many horrible side effects, and how BP medication for hypertension can cause other problems in the body. Doctors work on statistics and risk factors, but as we become more aware of our own bodies and the internet where we can research complaints, we could take more control of our body and not be led down the path of drug use just because our GP says so. I would never tell anyone to stop medication, it is not for me to do so, but I like to think I can have a say in what treatment if I should need it, I agree to. I know too many people who just take the drugs because their GP says so.
I like HSI, because not only does it inform us of how drug companies lure us into taking their drugs for the big bucks they make, but it offers us alternative treatments. Yes it costs money, but I would rather pay for Benecol each day to keep my cholesterol low than to take a drug that causes horrible side effects. And Benecol does work by the way, so there is an alternative to Statins.
I was shocked many years ago by some American friends who had been prescribed by their medical practitioner to take hypertension drugs and Statins when they were 50, even though their BP was only moderately high. That means potentially they could be on the drugs for 30 years or more if they live that long.
Check out HSI for more information
Do therapists need therapy?
Do therapists need therapy? You bet they do, and I am often surprised if I know that they don't. It would assume that they have solved all their problems in life and are uber cool. I would be more worried if a therapist said they had all of life's problems sorted out.
Yes therapists do need therapy from time to time and I enjoy having therapy at least once or twice a year. Even if I think I have no current problems, the therapy itself grounds me, and I feel calmer and even more in control.
You hear these stories over the years, like a psychiatrist who was telling their client in no uncertain terms that they must lose weight and the reason they were depressed was because they were overweight. 'Eat carrots' the psychiatrist said. The client looked at him, and smiled to herself as the psychiatrist was grossly overweight himself, and so she made a mental picture of him sitting there eating carrots.
Clients are often surprised when I sometimes reveal to them that I have therapy. We are not saints, we get things wrong in life and make mistakes. Therapy for therapists keeps us in touch with how our clients feel too.
Yes therapists do need therapy from time to time and I enjoy having therapy at least once or twice a year. Even if I think I have no current problems, the therapy itself grounds me, and I feel calmer and even more in control.
You hear these stories over the years, like a psychiatrist who was telling their client in no uncertain terms that they must lose weight and the reason they were depressed was because they were overweight. 'Eat carrots' the psychiatrist said. The client looked at him, and smiled to herself as the psychiatrist was grossly overweight himself, and so she made a mental picture of him sitting there eating carrots.
Clients are often surprised when I sometimes reveal to them that I have therapy. We are not saints, we get things wrong in life and make mistakes. Therapy for therapists keeps us in touch with how our clients feel too.
Monday, 29 October 2012
Therapy vouchers
I have been asked many times about discount vouchers for hypnotherapy sessions. One point of view is that if you are just starting up as a practitioner you need to find clients, but my view is that you do not see psychotherapists, counsellors or any other therapies for mental health offering discounts, so why should hypnotherapy be included?
My own take on it, and it may appear controversial, is that it cheapens the profession.
Hypnosis has had to fight long and hard for the right to be taken seriously, mainly because of silly stage shows that can frighten some people and for them to take it far less seriously.
Clients come for hypnotherapy because it deals with neuroses, and should not be offered as a one off session. Some of the discount voucher companies now say that three or four sessions are required to make significant changes, so therefore, buying a discount voucher will only give you a cheap first session, and then you have to pay full price. I know someone who got a lot of clients from the vouchers, but then not one booked another appointment. This gives hypnotherapy a bad name when most of us are doing our best to give it the reputation it deserves.
The therapist buying into vouchers also has to give the company up to 50% of what they earn, so it is not good for them either.
I am most disappointed that these companies take on hypnotherapy, and hope it ends soon before too much damage is done. I am not saying that you get a bad deal if you take up a voucher offer, but think carefully before you look for cheap therapy as it could be that it is false economy eventually.
Most good therapists build up their client practice the hard way, talking to as many people as possible, giving talks, joining breakfast clubs etc etc, and more naturally, with referrals from satisfied clients and GPs.
Yes it can be difficult starting out or even finding clients in a recession. I even put my prices up during the recession, as I like to think I am worth it, and it has made no difference to clients who know I may be the best person to help them with all the experience I have.
If you are looking for a therapist, think carefully before you decide who may be best for you. Ask questions about the therapist. Vouchers are mostly used for hotels and restaurants that are not busy, and you take that into account. Jamie Oliver is booked up most of the time so he does not have to have deals such as vouchers from companies as his food speaks for itself. Keep this in mind when contemplating therapy or if you are about to start a practice. Well known therapists do not, or should not, resort to these kind of promotions, or if they do, maybe they need to re-train or think about other ways of attracting clients.
If you agree or disagree, let me know. I welcome being challenged on my own assumptions. Who knows, I may be wrong!
My own take on it, and it may appear controversial, is that it cheapens the profession.
Hypnosis has had to fight long and hard for the right to be taken seriously, mainly because of silly stage shows that can frighten some people and for them to take it far less seriously.
Clients come for hypnotherapy because it deals with neuroses, and should not be offered as a one off session. Some of the discount voucher companies now say that three or four sessions are required to make significant changes, so therefore, buying a discount voucher will only give you a cheap first session, and then you have to pay full price. I know someone who got a lot of clients from the vouchers, but then not one booked another appointment. This gives hypnotherapy a bad name when most of us are doing our best to give it the reputation it deserves.
The therapist buying into vouchers also has to give the company up to 50% of what they earn, so it is not good for them either.
I am most disappointed that these companies take on hypnotherapy, and hope it ends soon before too much damage is done. I am not saying that you get a bad deal if you take up a voucher offer, but think carefully before you look for cheap therapy as it could be that it is false economy eventually.
Most good therapists build up their client practice the hard way, talking to as many people as possible, giving talks, joining breakfast clubs etc etc, and more naturally, with referrals from satisfied clients and GPs.
Yes it can be difficult starting out or even finding clients in a recession. I even put my prices up during the recession, as I like to think I am worth it, and it has made no difference to clients who know I may be the best person to help them with all the experience I have.
If you are looking for a therapist, think carefully before you decide who may be best for you. Ask questions about the therapist. Vouchers are mostly used for hotels and restaurants that are not busy, and you take that into account. Jamie Oliver is booked up most of the time so he does not have to have deals such as vouchers from companies as his food speaks for itself. Keep this in mind when contemplating therapy or if you are about to start a practice. Well known therapists do not, or should not, resort to these kind of promotions, or if they do, maybe they need to re-train or think about other ways of attracting clients.
If you agree or disagree, let me know. I welcome being challenged on my own assumptions. Who knows, I may be wrong!
Thursday, 25 October 2012
Is smoking an addiction?
I have never been truly convinced that all smokers only need one session of hypnosis to stop completely. I know that for some it is true, but for many they need support during those first few weeks of stopping. If it truly an addiction and I believe it is, then how come people with drug and alcohol, and all the other compulsions out there need much more help?
I have been working with smokers, and clients who have other addictions for many years now, and support is what is most important to them.
That's why I offer two sessions and a guarantee, because it instills confidence with clients. They know they can return for free therapy if they slip or just need a session to boost their confidence.
It is a major decision when you do decide to stop smoking, but it can mean freedom for you once you have made the decision to stop any addiction for good
I have been working with smokers, and clients who have other addictions for many years now, and support is what is most important to them.
That's why I offer two sessions and a guarantee, because it instills confidence with clients. They know they can return for free therapy if they slip or just need a session to boost their confidence.
It is a major decision when you do decide to stop smoking, but it can mean freedom for you once you have made the decision to stop any addiction for good
Friday, 19 October 2012
Past Life Regression
Someone was asking me the other day what it really means. Some people think it is about our own life in the past, and others think it is about a life we may have led before this life.
Some people believe we have been around before because they have an affinity with a certain period of time in the past, and have feelings and some kind of memory they have lived before.
We know that we inherit many of our ancestors traits, so that could account for past memories, but what about people who can recall things from the past, even hundreds of years ago?
Past Life Regression is either something you believe in or not, and for those people who do believe in it, they are curious to explore whether or not they have a life or lives before this one.
What good does it do knowing?
Sometimes it puts things into place of how they have been behaving in life and can make changes accordingly
They feel satisfied with the knowledge that they have lived before
Often they just want to explore the possibility of a past life
Contrary to what many people think, often or not a past life is just an ordinary person going about their life. I have never heard of a past life who was Cleopatra or Nelson!
Sometimes people want to make a decision in life and wonder whether the past life also made a decision.
Whatever the person thinks, if it helps them to come to terms with things in life, or it alters a behaviour that it more beneficial, then it is a good thing for them.
Some people believe we have been around before because they have an affinity with a certain period of time in the past, and have feelings and some kind of memory they have lived before.
We know that we inherit many of our ancestors traits, so that could account for past memories, but what about people who can recall things from the past, even hundreds of years ago?
Past Life Regression is either something you believe in or not, and for those people who do believe in it, they are curious to explore whether or not they have a life or lives before this one.
What good does it do knowing?
Sometimes it puts things into place of how they have been behaving in life and can make changes accordingly
They feel satisfied with the knowledge that they have lived before
Often they just want to explore the possibility of a past life
Contrary to what many people think, often or not a past life is just an ordinary person going about their life. I have never heard of a past life who was Cleopatra or Nelson!
Sometimes people want to make a decision in life and wonder whether the past life also made a decision.
Whatever the person thinks, if it helps them to come to terms with things in life, or it alters a behaviour that it more beneficial, then it is a good thing for them.
Wednesday, 17 October 2012
Have you stopped smoking yet?
Research states that the NHS has helped more people to stop smoking. Soon there could be a ban from smoking in a private car, so many more people will just hold up their hands in despair and say 'I give in'.
It would be interesting to know how the tobacco manufacturers are doing.
So there are some people who can quit with their own will-power.
There are some who have succeeded using patches, drugs or electric cigarettes.
And there are some who have tried all these things and still finding themselves smoking.
After all the campaigns that have been shown to us through TV, posters etc, you would think most smokers would really know it is time to stop, and yet it seems that banning smoking in certain places perhaps has the most effect.
Most smokers don't want to have to stand outside their workplace smoking, especially in the winter, or outside at pubs or clubs and restaurants, and yet they have been banned as anti-social behaviours.
We don't need to tell anyone the dangers; I think most people could be advert fatigued now, just as we can become charity fatigued. In essence, we don't 'see' the adverts anymore, they are just there.
If you have not tried one of the most successful ways of stopping smoking with fewer cravings and withdrawal symptoms, then you may just want to explore hypnotherapy, and let's see if we can programme your mind to say no to smoking, and yes to health.
It would be interesting to know how the tobacco manufacturers are doing.
So there are some people who can quit with their own will-power.
There are some who have succeeded using patches, drugs or electric cigarettes.
And there are some who have tried all these things and still finding themselves smoking.
After all the campaigns that have been shown to us through TV, posters etc, you would think most smokers would really know it is time to stop, and yet it seems that banning smoking in certain places perhaps has the most effect.
Most smokers don't want to have to stand outside their workplace smoking, especially in the winter, or outside at pubs or clubs and restaurants, and yet they have been banned as anti-social behaviours.
We don't need to tell anyone the dangers; I think most people could be advert fatigued now, just as we can become charity fatigued. In essence, we don't 'see' the adverts anymore, they are just there.
If you have not tried one of the most successful ways of stopping smoking with fewer cravings and withdrawal symptoms, then you may just want to explore hypnotherapy, and let's see if we can programme your mind to say no to smoking, and yes to health.
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
Realisation
'If experience alone brought wisdom and fulfillment, all elderly people would be happy'
Dan Millman 'Way of the peaceful warrior'
Dan Millman 'Way of the peaceful warrior'
Monday, 24 September 2012
Jargon, gggrrrrrrr
Have just returned from a trip to Dublin to see Robin Sharman. He wrote the book 'The Monk who sold his Ferrari' and 'Who will cry when you die'.
He is a great motivational speaker but without the jargon or the Anthony Robbins type hype. Robin is just one of those people you just like instantly, and even though you know he is in business to make money, he comes across as a guy who does care about people.
I must getting old because I get more cross when I read or hear jargon being used so much. Just this morning I was checking out the competition for training, well I am honest about it! I heard a pod cast and in the space of a few minutes they had used at least ten jargonised words. It made me cringe. Perhaps some of you don't mind it, and we have moved on from; 'I will find a window in my diary' 'Can I run this past you'. They used to be called 'buzz words' and a colleague, many years ago, stopped talking to me because I laughed at her use of so many 'buzz' words one day. She was highly offended and told me that she and her husband spoke to each other like that and I was offensive!!!! I think she got over it a couple of years later.
I don't often check out the competition, as I usually get my trusted administrator to do that for me, but it was Monday morning, and with courses coming up and being even more keen to get even more people on board, I thought I should check who is doing what. That's when I came across the jargon. In fairness I did watch for a few minutes but then gave up.
And realised why I liked Robin Sharman and also Dan Milman who is another fantastic motivational speaker. Read 'Way of the peaceful warrior' if you get chance.
Both these men are not pretentious, they just build relationships with people, and come to think of it now, Robin Sharman did not even try to flog his books to us or any other products. I heard stories of almost being locked in a room with hard selling going on to make you buy the speakers products.
We have just completed one part of a coaching course this weekend which went very well, and we had such a laugh too. Its great when you have characters who want to have fun whilst learning, because we know that when we do the learning sinks in even deeper
He is a great motivational speaker but without the jargon or the Anthony Robbins type hype. Robin is just one of those people you just like instantly, and even though you know he is in business to make money, he comes across as a guy who does care about people.
I must getting old because I get more cross when I read or hear jargon being used so much. Just this morning I was checking out the competition for training, well I am honest about it! I heard a pod cast and in the space of a few minutes they had used at least ten jargonised words. It made me cringe. Perhaps some of you don't mind it, and we have moved on from; 'I will find a window in my diary' 'Can I run this past you'. They used to be called 'buzz words' and a colleague, many years ago, stopped talking to me because I laughed at her use of so many 'buzz' words one day. She was highly offended and told me that she and her husband spoke to each other like that and I was offensive!!!! I think she got over it a couple of years later.
I don't often check out the competition, as I usually get my trusted administrator to do that for me, but it was Monday morning, and with courses coming up and being even more keen to get even more people on board, I thought I should check who is doing what. That's when I came across the jargon. In fairness I did watch for a few minutes but then gave up.
And realised why I liked Robin Sharman and also Dan Milman who is another fantastic motivational speaker. Read 'Way of the peaceful warrior' if you get chance.
Both these men are not pretentious, they just build relationships with people, and come to think of it now, Robin Sharman did not even try to flog his books to us or any other products. I heard stories of almost being locked in a room with hard selling going on to make you buy the speakers products.
We have just completed one part of a coaching course this weekend which went very well, and we had such a laugh too. Its great when you have characters who want to have fun whilst learning, because we know that when we do the learning sinks in even deeper
Thursday, 30 August 2012
Hypnotherapy and NLP training
If you are looking for a course that gives you the best qualifications there are, and value for money, then our course in hypnosis combined with NLP is really good value. For less than £2000 you could start a new career with some determination and effort thrown in.
Having just had our NCFE assessment we came out again with flying colours, and the review of the work the students did was praised for being highly intelligent and comprehensive.
take a look at the web site to see for yourself how this kind of training transforms your life and others too.
Having just had our NCFE assessment we came out again with flying colours, and the review of the work the students did was praised for being highly intelligent and comprehensive.
take a look at the web site to see for yourself how this kind of training transforms your life and others too.
Stress is good!
Well some stress is. It is a natural part of living and the stress response is normal. When people tell me that they want to get rid of stress, what they really mean perhaps is that they want to get rid of unnecessary stress.
So what is normal stress and unnecessary stress?
Someone pulls out of a side road and you have to brake really sharply. You feel a sinking feeling as the thought of hitting the car makes you fearful. NORMAL
You are waiting to go into an interview or on stage to perform or give a presentation, and you feel your stomach rolling and your heart is racing. NORMAL
You are going in for a competition or getting married and your legs wobble a bit. NORMAL
You think about going to work and doing your job, and your heart races and your start sweating. UNNECESSARY
You are in the supermarket and a wave of fear overcomes you and you run out. UNNECESSARY
You are invited to a party and even the thought of it makes you feel fearful and break out in a sweat. UNNECESSARY
Those kind of stress factors are not necessary for you and cause you to be even more fearful about going out, or doing the things you used to do. It means that your body is reacting ad responding unnecessarily. It is such a horrible feeling of losing control, and it seems to get worse each time. This is because the triggers are set and every time you want to do something that involves any day to day activities, the trigger response is fired off.
Fortunately, hypnosis and NLP combined is one of the very best ways to deal with stress. Medication will help to balance the mind a bit, but it does not always seem to be the answer.
Be thankful for normal stress as it can literally save your life, but do something about getting rid of stress that you really could do without and truly is unnecessary.
So what is normal stress and unnecessary stress?
Someone pulls out of a side road and you have to brake really sharply. You feel a sinking feeling as the thought of hitting the car makes you fearful. NORMAL
You are waiting to go into an interview or on stage to perform or give a presentation, and you feel your stomach rolling and your heart is racing. NORMAL
You are going in for a competition or getting married and your legs wobble a bit. NORMAL
You think about going to work and doing your job, and your heart races and your start sweating. UNNECESSARY
You are in the supermarket and a wave of fear overcomes you and you run out. UNNECESSARY
You are invited to a party and even the thought of it makes you feel fearful and break out in a sweat. UNNECESSARY
Those kind of stress factors are not necessary for you and cause you to be even more fearful about going out, or doing the things you used to do. It means that your body is reacting ad responding unnecessarily. It is such a horrible feeling of losing control, and it seems to get worse each time. This is because the triggers are set and every time you want to do something that involves any day to day activities, the trigger response is fired off.
Fortunately, hypnosis and NLP combined is one of the very best ways to deal with stress. Medication will help to balance the mind a bit, but it does not always seem to be the answer.
Be thankful for normal stress as it can literally save your life, but do something about getting rid of stress that you really could do without and truly is unnecessary.
Thursday, 23 August 2012
Life and Business Coaching
I enjoy all the training I do. It is so interesting to work with people who are also interested in helping people to achieve their potential. I work in London with a group of highly motivated people, and we have group coaching sessions which are always fun. Because they are so motivated they often come up with their own solutions, and it is good to facilitate the sessions.
Our nest Life and Business coaching course starts in September and it consists of two modules, September and October. Both are at weekends all day Saturday and Sunday.
This course is ideal for those who already work with clients who are looking for some changes both personally and professionally, or team leaders who want to get the most from the team. Managers and directors also gain much benefit from these courses as they are beneficial for them and the employees they work with.
The modules are fun and very informative with plenty of experiential exercises
Our nest Life and Business coaching course starts in September and it consists of two modules, September and October. Both are at weekends all day Saturday and Sunday.
This course is ideal for those who already work with clients who are looking for some changes both personally and professionally, or team leaders who want to get the most from the team. Managers and directors also gain much benefit from these courses as they are beneficial for them and the employees they work with.
The modules are fun and very informative with plenty of experiential exercises
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
Gastric Band
Gastric band, or more precisely virtual gastric band often works really well with weight control. The hype that has been written about in the papers often does not address that it really is only suitable for those people who eat too much and don't have too many emotional issues around food.
How do you test yourself for suitability without shelling out too much money and find that it really is not right for you?
Sadly, some therapists just take on clients without exploring the background around their eating. I like to think none of the students I have trained would do that, but you do hear of cases where the therapist is in it just for the rich pickings.Fortunately I have not heard of any cases in Norfolk, but am sure that other parts of the country have had such problems. Not only does it bring the reputation of professional hypnotherapy into disrepute, but it give the clients ideas that hypnosis does not work well.
It can work extremely well, and if there are emotional problems, they can be dealt with first. The notion of virtual gastric band has been around for at least ten years, but someone jumped on the bandwagon and thought they could introduce it as sensational and the latest thing to take off.
If you are considering virtual gastric band, ask yourself these questions to see if you are suitable, and then find a good therapists who will understand any concerns you may have.
Are you just aware of eating too large helpings at your meals?
Do you often feel satisfied with your meal but greed takes over and you want more?
Do you find yourself picking at food and never really feel hungry?
Do you need some discipline in your life around food?
If you have answered yes to most of the questions, then virtual gastric band can work well for you.
If you need a little longer term therapy, you may answers yes to these questions.
Do you often crave food even though you know you are not hungry?
Do situations like sadness or even happiness cause you to want to eat food?
Do you rely on food to comfort you?
Are you eating at inappropriate times?
Are you binge eating or making yourself sick?
Have you tried everything else
Hypnosis can help you to change your attitude towards food and create a new lifestyle
for you
How do you test yourself for suitability without shelling out too much money and find that it really is not right for you?
Sadly, some therapists just take on clients without exploring the background around their eating. I like to think none of the students I have trained would do that, but you do hear of cases where the therapist is in it just for the rich pickings.Fortunately I have not heard of any cases in Norfolk, but am sure that other parts of the country have had such problems. Not only does it bring the reputation of professional hypnotherapy into disrepute, but it give the clients ideas that hypnosis does not work well.
It can work extremely well, and if there are emotional problems, they can be dealt with first. The notion of virtual gastric band has been around for at least ten years, but someone jumped on the bandwagon and thought they could introduce it as sensational and the latest thing to take off.
If you are considering virtual gastric band, ask yourself these questions to see if you are suitable, and then find a good therapists who will understand any concerns you may have.
Are you just aware of eating too large helpings at your meals?
Do you often feel satisfied with your meal but greed takes over and you want more?
Do you find yourself picking at food and never really feel hungry?
Do you need some discipline in your life around food?
If you have answered yes to most of the questions, then virtual gastric band can work well for you.
If you need a little longer term therapy, you may answers yes to these questions.
Do you often crave food even though you know you are not hungry?
Do situations like sadness or even happiness cause you to want to eat food?
Do you rely on food to comfort you?
Are you eating at inappropriate times?
Are you binge eating or making yourself sick?
Have you tried everything else
Hypnosis can help you to change your attitude towards food and create a new lifestyle
for you
Sunday, 19 August 2012
Letting go of anger
I watched a programme about a woman who pretended she had been in Twin Towers on 9/11. She lied to so many people in the support group she ran, and continued the lie for a long time until she was found out.
It was interesting how the rest of the support group viewed her when they found out she was a fraud. Most of them said they could forgive her as she obviously had some mental health problems to fabricate such a deceit. One woman though, who had been her closest friend said she could never ever forgive her, and had hatred for her. It showed in her body posture in her tonality and facial expressions. She was so hurt that she had trusted this person so much, and then been let down so badly. And yet later in the programme she said how much she missed her.
What this woman was experiencing was the fact that she had trusted this person, and she had betrayed that trust. It happens to many of us. We like to believe what people tell us. IF we suspected everyone we met, we would have no friends, and so we trust. When that trust in betrayed for some reason, we feel bad inside and wish we had never trusted them in the first place.
When we hold on to anger and bitterness, it just festers inside us and we feel as though we simply cannot or will not let go. It ends up as our only control over the situation that we hate or are bitter so much, but at what cost?
It is us who suffer from these kind of feelings, it alters our brain chemistry, it affects the cells in our body and in some way we suffer either mentally or physically. Maybe we don't sleep well, or have aches and pains and a general feeling of not feeling well with energy. Energy is not only a physical thing but a mental thing.
Forgiveness is not condoning, it does not mean what that person or people did to you is okay. You do not have to accept what they did was okay in any way. In fact by your standards it was most unacceptable, but forgiving is about you, forgiving yourself for putting yourself through that torment. Once you agree with yourself to do this, then you move into emotional freedom. Even if that person is a part of your life, you can control how you feel about them. It is the most fantastic feeling that you can think about them with indifference and that is such a great feeling. It means you don't care about them anymore, they can never hurt you again.
One of the things I think is helpful is to write down exactly how you feel about that person or people. You may or may not post it to them, but having read it back to yourself, or out loud to someone else, it takes away the sting of how you were feeling. As if you have transferred all that anger on to paper, and it is out of your internal feelings.
You may even want to keep the letter or a copy, and from time to time read it again, and be pleased that you have no feelings left for that person or people.
Give it a go, see what happens. If you cannot or will not, ask yourself what the reason is you are holding on to all that pain for?
It was interesting how the rest of the support group viewed her when they found out she was a fraud. Most of them said they could forgive her as she obviously had some mental health problems to fabricate such a deceit. One woman though, who had been her closest friend said she could never ever forgive her, and had hatred for her. It showed in her body posture in her tonality and facial expressions. She was so hurt that she had trusted this person so much, and then been let down so badly. And yet later in the programme she said how much she missed her.
What this woman was experiencing was the fact that she had trusted this person, and she had betrayed that trust. It happens to many of us. We like to believe what people tell us. IF we suspected everyone we met, we would have no friends, and so we trust. When that trust in betrayed for some reason, we feel bad inside and wish we had never trusted them in the first place.
When we hold on to anger and bitterness, it just festers inside us and we feel as though we simply cannot or will not let go. It ends up as our only control over the situation that we hate or are bitter so much, but at what cost?
It is us who suffer from these kind of feelings, it alters our brain chemistry, it affects the cells in our body and in some way we suffer either mentally or physically. Maybe we don't sleep well, or have aches and pains and a general feeling of not feeling well with energy. Energy is not only a physical thing but a mental thing.
Forgiveness is not condoning, it does not mean what that person or people did to you is okay. You do not have to accept what they did was okay in any way. In fact by your standards it was most unacceptable, but forgiving is about you, forgiving yourself for putting yourself through that torment. Once you agree with yourself to do this, then you move into emotional freedom. Even if that person is a part of your life, you can control how you feel about them. It is the most fantastic feeling that you can think about them with indifference and that is such a great feeling. It means you don't care about them anymore, they can never hurt you again.
One of the things I think is helpful is to write down exactly how you feel about that person or people. You may or may not post it to them, but having read it back to yourself, or out loud to someone else, it takes away the sting of how you were feeling. As if you have transferred all that anger on to paper, and it is out of your internal feelings.
You may even want to keep the letter or a copy, and from time to time read it again, and be pleased that you have no feelings left for that person or people.
Give it a go, see what happens. If you cannot or will not, ask yourself what the reason is you are holding on to all that pain for?
Monday, 6 August 2012
Curiosity
I have been fascinated by the Mars landing of Rover curiosity. Apparently Mars is 350 million miles away!
The cost is certainly astronomical, (pun intended) and they have gone over budget twice. They informed the American people that they could go about with their chests out saying 'this is our Mars space trip'. I can't help but still wonder, even after the Moon landings, that we cannot even get our own world right, and the money spent would probably help the world even more perhaps. I say perhaps because there may be people who would say it wouldn't. It is probably a moot point.
However, I am fascinated to find out if there is any sign of Mars being something else millions of years ago and what happened to it and if that is also if that is the earths in millions of years.
If you were in charge of the world, what would your mission be? Many people would say peace.
What does peace mean to you? Are you personally at peace now? We may describe peace in different ways.
Peaceful mind, not cluttered up with critical thoughts and worrying about what others think of you
Peaceful relationships. Being able to let go of old relationships that are not beneficial, even if they are family relationships
Peaceful responses to others. Not getting wound up every time someone says something you don't like or think they are being aggressive towards you
There is an Eagles song, Peaceful easy feeling
Are your feelings peaceful and easy?
The cost is certainly astronomical, (pun intended) and they have gone over budget twice. They informed the American people that they could go about with their chests out saying 'this is our Mars space trip'. I can't help but still wonder, even after the Moon landings, that we cannot even get our own world right, and the money spent would probably help the world even more perhaps. I say perhaps because there may be people who would say it wouldn't. It is probably a moot point.
However, I am fascinated to find out if there is any sign of Mars being something else millions of years ago and what happened to it and if that is also if that is the earths in millions of years.
If you were in charge of the world, what would your mission be? Many people would say peace.
What does peace mean to you? Are you personally at peace now? We may describe peace in different ways.
Peaceful mind, not cluttered up with critical thoughts and worrying about what others think of you
Peaceful relationships. Being able to let go of old relationships that are not beneficial, even if they are family relationships
Peaceful responses to others. Not getting wound up every time someone says something you don't like or think they are being aggressive towards you
There is an Eagles song, Peaceful easy feeling
Are your feelings peaceful and easy?
Friday, 20 July 2012
When to let go
Often people get stuck in relationships and find it difficult to know when to let go and move on.
I wonder what it is about human beings that continue to hold on to relationships when they are past their sell by date. Friendships, lovers, family. It is as if we must tolerate and continue to make ourselves feel worse by keeping the relationship. We complain to anyone who will listen, but never do anything about it.
Of course an ideal situation would be to make it better if you can, but it takes two to make a relationship work or maybe even a whole family.
Letting go, learning from mistakes and moving on takes courage.
I wonder what it is about human beings that continue to hold on to relationships when they are past their sell by date. Friendships, lovers, family. It is as if we must tolerate and continue to make ourselves feel worse by keeping the relationship. We complain to anyone who will listen, but never do anything about it.
Of course an ideal situation would be to make it better if you can, but it takes two to make a relationship work or maybe even a whole family.
Letting go, learning from mistakes and moving on takes courage.
Wednesday, 27 June 2012
'Two little boys'
I first heard Two Little Boys by Rolf Harris back in the 1960s. I was in hospital and it was playing on hospital radio. I was in a ward full of really old people and at 17, it's not the best place to be. I thought nothing of the song at all, but noticed that an elderly lady who could not move was crying.
Years later, after having my own sons, | realised that perhaps the song reminded her of her children, or maybe she went through the war and thought about people she had lost. Or perhaps she thought about the actual words and how we would not let down anyone we truly cared for.
Just last week Rolf Harris was on radio 4 extra, yes it probably is for old gits like me, but I like hearing Tony Hancock again and all the old comedy radio and the plays they put on. Well Rofl Harris said when he first heard the song, which was sung to him by the chap who wrote it and sang it to him in a tenor voice, Rolf could only wonder what on earth he would say to him as he first thought it not that good.
Then came the bit where the boys have gone to war and was is wounded, and the other saves him. It makes me tingle even typing it, and reminds me that there are people in our life who we would do anything for, no matter what was asked of us, and we know they would do the same for us.
I think it is called trust!
Years later, after having my own sons, | realised that perhaps the song reminded her of her children, or maybe she went through the war and thought about people she had lost. Or perhaps she thought about the actual words and how we would not let down anyone we truly cared for.
Just last week Rolf Harris was on radio 4 extra, yes it probably is for old gits like me, but I like hearing Tony Hancock again and all the old comedy radio and the plays they put on. Well Rofl Harris said when he first heard the song, which was sung to him by the chap who wrote it and sang it to him in a tenor voice, Rolf could only wonder what on earth he would say to him as he first thought it not that good.
Then came the bit where the boys have gone to war and was is wounded, and the other saves him. It makes me tingle even typing it, and reminds me that there are people in our life who we would do anything for, no matter what was asked of us, and we know they would do the same for us.
I think it is called trust!
Friday, 22 June 2012
Well can you relax?
I blogged a while ago about relaxing, and I noticed that less people looked at that than any of the other postings.
I would naturally think that anyone looking at the blogs does know how to relax so there is no need to read it.
Wrong, and I am one of those people who really do need to learn how to relax. I realised recently that it had been a while since I had experienced hypnosis. It had also been too long since a dental check up that my dentist said what a nice surprise it was to see me. I had to admit that I had cancelled a couple of previous appointments because of work commitments, but when he said two years had passed I was shocked. Fortunately I had no problems, so breathed a sigh of relief.
Now, back to relaxation, and taking myself off to a very good hypnotherapist who I personally trained, I came to the conclusion that I should practice what I preach.
Life has been somewhat stressful recently what with two clinic moves in less than three months. (don't ask) So there I was sitting in the therapy chair and experiencing what I help others to experience each day.
What a tonic, I felt so woozy coming out of the session but slept so well. I am continuing with my therapy as it is doing me a power of good and I am certainly noticing the difference.
I wonder how many other therapists have therapy themselves. It could be mandatory for anyone who helps others receives therapy themselves at least one a year.
I am looking forward to my next session!
I would naturally think that anyone looking at the blogs does know how to relax so there is no need to read it.
Wrong, and I am one of those people who really do need to learn how to relax. I realised recently that it had been a while since I had experienced hypnosis. It had also been too long since a dental check up that my dentist said what a nice surprise it was to see me. I had to admit that I had cancelled a couple of previous appointments because of work commitments, but when he said two years had passed I was shocked. Fortunately I had no problems, so breathed a sigh of relief.
Now, back to relaxation, and taking myself off to a very good hypnotherapist who I personally trained, I came to the conclusion that I should practice what I preach.
Life has been somewhat stressful recently what with two clinic moves in less than three months. (don't ask) So there I was sitting in the therapy chair and experiencing what I help others to experience each day.
What a tonic, I felt so woozy coming out of the session but slept so well. I am continuing with my therapy as it is doing me a power of good and I am certainly noticing the difference.
I wonder how many other therapists have therapy themselves. It could be mandatory for anyone who helps others receives therapy themselves at least one a year.
I am looking forward to my next session!
Impostor syndrome
Do you ever feel as though someone is going to 'find you out'? An example would be that you are busy doing your job, but your internal voice is wondering what you are doing there, and that someone may come in and shout, 'hey you, get out of there'? You feel as though you are an impostor and that you should not be there doing that job.
I wonder if it all stems from not being good enough, or feeling as though you are not good enough. I also wonder, and I do a lot of wondering in my job, how you learned to think that way.
If this fits in with some of your thoughts about yourself ask a question or two of yourself.
Where did you learn to feel not good enough?
Is there any truth in what you are thinking?
Who told you that you were not good enough?
In what area of your life did they tell you were not good enough?
We all have times when we don't feel good enough, such as when we don't get that job, or someone else is picked to do something you wanted to do. Maybe at some point in your life someone has left you for someone else perhaps and it added to your negative thoughts.
Overcoming those thoughts?
Well wherever you are right now means that you have survived not being good enough at times and whatever job you are in means they picked you for your skills and abilities. And whoever you are with, or the friends you have means that they choose you to be friends with or want to be with because of you.
We can all go through life comparing ourselves with others, and easy to put ourselves down too quickly. Does it help us? Do we feel better having put ourselves down?
It never helps and only adds to reinforce more negativity.
Instead, be thankful for the people who you have in your life. Thankful for the job you have and all the material things you have. Tell yourself you deserve to have these things in life. Ahh, have I got you there? Do you deserve to have good things and people in your life? If you think you do not, now is the time to explore this sufficiently enough to let go of those old ways of thinking and move into new thought patterns
I wonder if it all stems from not being good enough, or feeling as though you are not good enough. I also wonder, and I do a lot of wondering in my job, how you learned to think that way.
If this fits in with some of your thoughts about yourself ask a question or two of yourself.
Where did you learn to feel not good enough?
Is there any truth in what you are thinking?
Who told you that you were not good enough?
In what area of your life did they tell you were not good enough?
We all have times when we don't feel good enough, such as when we don't get that job, or someone else is picked to do something you wanted to do. Maybe at some point in your life someone has left you for someone else perhaps and it added to your negative thoughts.
Overcoming those thoughts?
Well wherever you are right now means that you have survived not being good enough at times and whatever job you are in means they picked you for your skills and abilities. And whoever you are with, or the friends you have means that they choose you to be friends with or want to be with because of you.
We can all go through life comparing ourselves with others, and easy to put ourselves down too quickly. Does it help us? Do we feel better having put ourselves down?
It never helps and only adds to reinforce more negativity.
Instead, be thankful for the people who you have in your life. Thankful for the job you have and all the material things you have. Tell yourself you deserve to have these things in life. Ahh, have I got you there? Do you deserve to have good things and people in your life? If you think you do not, now is the time to explore this sufficiently enough to let go of those old ways of thinking and move into new thought patterns
Friday, 15 June 2012
Coaching
Some people like the idea of coaching rather than therapy. Its often the case that we don't need to deal with the past, and instead concentrate on the future. Coaching allows people to find their own resourcefulness and gives them direction.
I had been doing some coaching using NLP skills in Spain and now I am travelling to London once a month to train coaching and NLP to a company. Companies are keen to use training such as this to help their employees to become better at what they do and also to show that they do care about their staff.
I have found that the directors and managers value the group sessions they have because they have an opportunity to develop their management style.
NLP skills feature highly in my coaching training, and the difference language patterns make when selling is amazing.
NLP skills use the power of the unconscious and that in itself is an eye opener for many as we often think that we are operating consciously most of the time. To know that its more 90% unconscious and 10% conscious is mind blowing
I had been doing some coaching using NLP skills in Spain and now I am travelling to London once a month to train coaching and NLP to a company. Companies are keen to use training such as this to help their employees to become better at what they do and also to show that they do care about their staff.
I have found that the directors and managers value the group sessions they have because they have an opportunity to develop their management style.
NLP skills feature highly in my coaching training, and the difference language patterns make when selling is amazing.
NLP skills use the power of the unconscious and that in itself is an eye opener for many as we often think that we are operating consciously most of the time. To know that its more 90% unconscious and 10% conscious is mind blowing
Thursday, 7 June 2012
Getting over relationships
Some of us have difficulties in letting go of people in our life. We find it hard to move on away from those people. Friends or close relationships are not always made to stand the test of time. There are plenty of reasons why they don't last, and perhaps the simplest way of explaining it is because the energy has run out.
We are made up from energy so it stands to reason that we create energy in our relationships. It is usually explained as chemistry, but whatever it is, when it is there it is great and when it is gone it has gone, and you can find it almost impossible to get it back.
You cannot see the energy, but you just know it is not there. Maybe you get a flat feeling when you see them, and the buzz is just not there.
Simplest way of dealing with those problems is to let it go, and accept that it has gone. Remember the good times by all means, but make no effort to wish things could be different. They are not, and then was then as now is now.
With luck you will have some relationships that will last forever, no matter what happens. Talk can sometimes be cheap, and people say all kinds of things when you are in the relationship, but remember that time changes our thoughts and feelings.
Keep the energy you have with those people who are still in your life and appreciate them even more. Let go of the others, its not worth the time and effort to waste precious energy.
We are made up from energy so it stands to reason that we create energy in our relationships. It is usually explained as chemistry, but whatever it is, when it is there it is great and when it is gone it has gone, and you can find it almost impossible to get it back.
You cannot see the energy, but you just know it is not there. Maybe you get a flat feeling when you see them, and the buzz is just not there.
Simplest way of dealing with those problems is to let it go, and accept that it has gone. Remember the good times by all means, but make no effort to wish things could be different. They are not, and then was then as now is now.
With luck you will have some relationships that will last forever, no matter what happens. Talk can sometimes be cheap, and people say all kinds of things when you are in the relationship, but remember that time changes our thoughts and feelings.
Keep the energy you have with those people who are still in your life and appreciate them even more. Let go of the others, its not worth the time and effort to waste precious energy.
Saturday, 19 May 2012
How do you deal with those stressful situations?
No matter how well you train your brain to be in control, it often behave in a very different way when you are under stress. We can go into meltdown, which means we are unable to function properly for a certain time. Our mind blanks out and we cannot think straight.
For some people this kind of feeling goes on for far too long, and they find themselves unable to cope with everyday situations, like work and home life. They only seem able to think of the stressful situation, going from emotion to emotion like sadness, anger, desperation and so on and so on.
For others, they seem to be able to put the stress to one side and get on with their day to day jobs and social situations. This does not mean they are better in any way than us, and nor does it mean we are wimps if we are unable to cope.
What it does mean is that we have to find some other coping strategies to deal with stress or it will deal with us in a way that is most unsuitable, which then leads to depression.
If you are under major stress right now, see if any of the ways I suggest help you.
By all means talk to people, but do your very best to talk of other things rather than keep going over the stressful situation. They may not be able to help you with the stress, but they can listen to you and maybe even take your mind of the stress for a short while. Laughter is good even in the face of adversity. Laughter was very important during the war, or people would have gone under.
If you keep talking about the stress your friends and family will get fed up with you talking about the same thing, especially if you are not prepared to do anything about it in terms of you changing some strategies.
If you don't feel like talking to friends do your level best to keep in touch with them, even if it is a text to say you are glad they are your friends but you need time to think things through. If you don't keep in touch, your friends may think you don't want them anymore and they may not be there when you do need them. They will understand providing you let them know you still need them in your life.
Go and see a therapist. They are non judgmental and impartial, and will help you to deal with stressful situations. Any good therapist will not allow you to keep talking about the stress as that will just re-enforce it even more. Instead, a good therapist will help you with coping strategies. If they don't, stop going and find another therapist. Talk to them on the phone before making an appointment and ask specifically how they will help you.
Go for long walks on the beach if you can and let the wind blow through your hair. If it helps, get angry on the walk, but when you turn around make sure you have some good thoughts and maybe a few smiles on the way back. (Think of all the people you love and who are good to you)
Do some different things if you can, no matter how small they are.
Give yourself a self pity moment during the day or evening, and then stop and get on with other things.
These suggestions are helpful to many people. Let them help you.
For some people this kind of feeling goes on for far too long, and they find themselves unable to cope with everyday situations, like work and home life. They only seem able to think of the stressful situation, going from emotion to emotion like sadness, anger, desperation and so on and so on.
For others, they seem to be able to put the stress to one side and get on with their day to day jobs and social situations. This does not mean they are better in any way than us, and nor does it mean we are wimps if we are unable to cope.
What it does mean is that we have to find some other coping strategies to deal with stress or it will deal with us in a way that is most unsuitable, which then leads to depression.
If you are under major stress right now, see if any of the ways I suggest help you.
By all means talk to people, but do your very best to talk of other things rather than keep going over the stressful situation. They may not be able to help you with the stress, but they can listen to you and maybe even take your mind of the stress for a short while. Laughter is good even in the face of adversity. Laughter was very important during the war, or people would have gone under.
If you keep talking about the stress your friends and family will get fed up with you talking about the same thing, especially if you are not prepared to do anything about it in terms of you changing some strategies.
If you don't feel like talking to friends do your level best to keep in touch with them, even if it is a text to say you are glad they are your friends but you need time to think things through. If you don't keep in touch, your friends may think you don't want them anymore and they may not be there when you do need them. They will understand providing you let them know you still need them in your life.
Go and see a therapist. They are non judgmental and impartial, and will help you to deal with stressful situations. Any good therapist will not allow you to keep talking about the stress as that will just re-enforce it even more. Instead, a good therapist will help you with coping strategies. If they don't, stop going and find another therapist. Talk to them on the phone before making an appointment and ask specifically how they will help you.
Go for long walks on the beach if you can and let the wind blow through your hair. If it helps, get angry on the walk, but when you turn around make sure you have some good thoughts and maybe a few smiles on the way back. (Think of all the people you love and who are good to you)
Do some different things if you can, no matter how small they are.
Give yourself a self pity moment during the day or evening, and then stop and get on with other things.
These suggestions are helpful to many people. Let them help you.
Monday, 14 May 2012
Stop smoking with drugs
I nearly fell off my chair when I read about the side effects of Champix, the anti smoking drug. There was a list of side effects, all particularly nasty, but the worst was suicidal thoughts.
It may cause psychosis, depression or in a worst case scenario, it read, suicide. It may be though, it went on to add, that even stopping smoking may cause suicidal thoughts. How clever the drug companies are that they lead you to believe it is your fault for stopping smoking that causes suicidal thoughts. I was of the opinion that Champix was meant to stop you wanting to smoke, so what would make you feel suicidal if you had no craving.
I know many people are desperate to stop smoking, but do consider other ways first before embarking on drugs that could potentially cause horrid side effects that could last a long time. There is certainly not enough evidence that these drugs are really successful. Drug companies make millions and millions each year, and they don't appear to care enough about all the dreadful side effects that the drug can cause. Drugs don't stop psychological urges, they just suppress the desire, or that is what they are meant to do. Nothing works 100%, even hypnosis, but the one thing you can be sure of and that is you won't have suicidal thoughts, or bad dreams, or rashes, or depression with hypnosis.
It may cause psychosis, depression or in a worst case scenario, it read, suicide. It may be though, it went on to add, that even stopping smoking may cause suicidal thoughts. How clever the drug companies are that they lead you to believe it is your fault for stopping smoking that causes suicidal thoughts. I was of the opinion that Champix was meant to stop you wanting to smoke, so what would make you feel suicidal if you had no craving.
I know many people are desperate to stop smoking, but do consider other ways first before embarking on drugs that could potentially cause horrid side effects that could last a long time. There is certainly not enough evidence that these drugs are really successful. Drug companies make millions and millions each year, and they don't appear to care enough about all the dreadful side effects that the drug can cause. Drugs don't stop psychological urges, they just suppress the desire, or that is what they are meant to do. Nothing works 100%, even hypnosis, but the one thing you can be sure of and that is you won't have suicidal thoughts, or bad dreams, or rashes, or depression with hypnosis.
Wednesday, 9 May 2012
And another thing that can lead you to towards happiness
I thought of another thing yesterday that can lead you towards happiness.
Stop worrying about what people think of you and stop comparing yourself with others. We probably start this when we copy other children when we are small. It is normal at that stage in life. It leads to unhappiness when we continue to do it through life, especially if we don't think we do compare well with others.
Accept you as you are, do your best in whatever you do, and appreciate yourself. Recall all the good things you are capable of and the things you have achieved in life no matter how small they are.
Try it and see what happens. It has got to be better than any negative way of thinking.
Tuesday, 8 May 2012
How to be happy and be in control
Many people, when asked how they would like to be, say 'happy'. What does happiness mean to you?
Having lots of money does not necessarily create happiness so they say, but I expect there are a lot of rich people who would say they are happy. There are some rich people out there who look very miserable. Is inner happiness more important than wealth?
I have some ideas of how we can create inner happiness, and it is all to do with the way you think. It is quite easy to be miserable, it takes mere seconds to create bad pictures and thoughts in our head, and there you go, the recipe for unhappiness. We can't always be happy. Life throws things at us that can cause us to feel unhappy, but it depends on how long you want that unhappiness to last. Some people make a career out of being and staying unhappy. Whether it serves a purpose or not I don't know. Some people make it their business to do their best to be happy no matter what is going on around them.
I have some tips on how to stay happy. We have a right to reject the idea of working to be happy, and a right to do our best to be happy.
1 When you wake up each day, rather than let your mind control you with miserable thoughts, think of something immediately that is a good thought, something funny, or really pleasant. Keep your mind focused on that thought for as long as you can
2 If something bad happens to you, tell yourself that it will pass. Everything does pass. Only allow yourself a certain amount of time to dwell on whatever it is and then get on with life
3 Each day, think of all the good things you have done in life
4 Do your best to make someone else happy. A kind word, something you give them, or just smiling and looking friendly
5 Think of all the good things that people have done for you, and not just recently, but as far back as you can recall. You may not even be in contact any more with these people, but they did something good for you at some time in your life
6 Imagine only for a moment what would happen to your thoughts if you did not have the people you love most in your life, and then feel happy that they are in your life
7 Get involved with people who are genuinely happy. Stay away from doom and gloom people, they bring you down
8 If you have to mix with doom and gloomers, keep changing the subject to happier things
9 Stop reading newspapers. They make you feel depressed or get you to feel mad about the world
10 If you really want to know what goes on in the world, do some charity work or become involved with people less fortunate than yourself
You have control of how your mind works despite the fact you may not think so. If you really cannot do this for yourself, find a good NLPer and hypnotherapist, and they will gladly show you how to do it. If they look unhappy themselves, find someone else who has learned to run their mind the right way
Having lots of money does not necessarily create happiness so they say, but I expect there are a lot of rich people who would say they are happy. There are some rich people out there who look very miserable. Is inner happiness more important than wealth?
I have some ideas of how we can create inner happiness, and it is all to do with the way you think. It is quite easy to be miserable, it takes mere seconds to create bad pictures and thoughts in our head, and there you go, the recipe for unhappiness. We can't always be happy. Life throws things at us that can cause us to feel unhappy, but it depends on how long you want that unhappiness to last. Some people make a career out of being and staying unhappy. Whether it serves a purpose or not I don't know. Some people make it their business to do their best to be happy no matter what is going on around them.
I have some tips on how to stay happy. We have a right to reject the idea of working to be happy, and a right to do our best to be happy.
1 When you wake up each day, rather than let your mind control you with miserable thoughts, think of something immediately that is a good thought, something funny, or really pleasant. Keep your mind focused on that thought for as long as you can
2 If something bad happens to you, tell yourself that it will pass. Everything does pass. Only allow yourself a certain amount of time to dwell on whatever it is and then get on with life
3 Each day, think of all the good things you have done in life
4 Do your best to make someone else happy. A kind word, something you give them, or just smiling and looking friendly
5 Think of all the good things that people have done for you, and not just recently, but as far back as you can recall. You may not even be in contact any more with these people, but they did something good for you at some time in your life
6 Imagine only for a moment what would happen to your thoughts if you did not have the people you love most in your life, and then feel happy that they are in your life
7 Get involved with people who are genuinely happy. Stay away from doom and gloom people, they bring you down
8 If you have to mix with doom and gloomers, keep changing the subject to happier things
9 Stop reading newspapers. They make you feel depressed or get you to feel mad about the world
10 If you really want to know what goes on in the world, do some charity work or become involved with people less fortunate than yourself
You have control of how your mind works despite the fact you may not think so. If you really cannot do this for yourself, find a good NLPer and hypnotherapist, and they will gladly show you how to do it. If they look unhappy themselves, find someone else who has learned to run their mind the right way
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
How to treat depression
There are some things you can do for yourself to get over depression.
It might be chicken and egg time, in as much as you don't have the motivation to do anything, but you do have to start somewhere. That is if you want to get better.
First of all, ask yourself how much do you really want to get better. On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most motivated, where are you right now? If it is below five, you may have to ask someone to help you to get motivated to begin with.
Change your diet. There are so many foods that help with depression. Find out all the foods that increase good chemicals in your brain.
Get plenty of sunshine. The natural vitamin D helps enormously.
Get some exercise into your life. It makes no difference what you do, whether it is just walking or cycling or running. No need to pay expensive gym fees especially if you think you will give up soon. Do the free things first and then make a choice of what exercise to do later. Walking gets you fresh air. If you have a dog or can offer to walk someones dog so much the better. Do just a little to begin with, don't push yourself too hard at first and then build it up.
Find a beach if you are near one and try walking along the beach very early in the morning. If no one is around shout out all your troubles into the wind and sea and imagine they are being carried away by the sea and wind.
Talk to someone who is impartial. Often friends and family mean well, but they only see things from their perspective. They may often say, 'well if I were you I would do this this and that'. They are not you and have a different mind set. This is one of the reasons why people often turn to a therapist because they are impartial and have your best interest at heart. They are also skilled people, so go to those people you think you can trust and have experienced and are well trained. Do your own homework first, it is important to find the right help.
If your GP suggests drug therapy ie medication, ask about the drug, find out for yourself the side effects. The internet will give you all the information.
Your GP may offer CBT through the practice. You may have to wait a long time and CBT can also take a longer time to make any differences. All talking therapy helps though so never discount and offers of listening to you. Friends and family will eventually get fed up with you talking about the same thing each time, so rely on therapists to help you to understand yourself better and show you how to become a much more resourceful person.
Remember, grief is a natural process, don't try to rush it through. You have to let your body and mind deal with the effects of grief. It is normal. Don't rush down the drug route as that is not going to ease the grief.
It might be chicken and egg time, in as much as you don't have the motivation to do anything, but you do have to start somewhere. That is if you want to get better.
First of all, ask yourself how much do you really want to get better. On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most motivated, where are you right now? If it is below five, you may have to ask someone to help you to get motivated to begin with.
Change your diet. There are so many foods that help with depression. Find out all the foods that increase good chemicals in your brain.
Get plenty of sunshine. The natural vitamin D helps enormously.
Get some exercise into your life. It makes no difference what you do, whether it is just walking or cycling or running. No need to pay expensive gym fees especially if you think you will give up soon. Do the free things first and then make a choice of what exercise to do later. Walking gets you fresh air. If you have a dog or can offer to walk someones dog so much the better. Do just a little to begin with, don't push yourself too hard at first and then build it up.
Find a beach if you are near one and try walking along the beach very early in the morning. If no one is around shout out all your troubles into the wind and sea and imagine they are being carried away by the sea and wind.
Talk to someone who is impartial. Often friends and family mean well, but they only see things from their perspective. They may often say, 'well if I were you I would do this this and that'. They are not you and have a different mind set. This is one of the reasons why people often turn to a therapist because they are impartial and have your best interest at heart. They are also skilled people, so go to those people you think you can trust and have experienced and are well trained. Do your own homework first, it is important to find the right help.
If your GP suggests drug therapy ie medication, ask about the drug, find out for yourself the side effects. The internet will give you all the information.
Your GP may offer CBT through the practice. You may have to wait a long time and CBT can also take a longer time to make any differences. All talking therapy helps though so never discount and offers of listening to you. Friends and family will eventually get fed up with you talking about the same thing each time, so rely on therapists to help you to understand yourself better and show you how to become a much more resourceful person.
Remember, grief is a natural process, don't try to rush it through. You have to let your body and mind deal with the effects of grief. It is normal. Don't rush down the drug route as that is not going to ease the grief.
How do you know if you are depressed?
Depression affects most of us from time to time, and it can be low level or serious enough to stop us functioning properly.
More women appear to suffer from it, but that could be because they look for help more quickly or recognise it. men may just try to get on with life and bury their head to the affects of depression.
The thing about depression is that if it gets a hold of you, it just does not go away. What kind of help do you look for? Either you down the drug route which often takes weeks to take affect and also there are side effects too. There is also concern about how addictive these types of drugs can be which means when you try to come off them you may experience worse side effects.
Or, you can go down the therapy route and explore what causes you to feel depressed.
Reactive depression can be cause by significant emotional events and experiences that have happened to you. Job loss, relationship breakdowns, moving home etc etc. This is where you suddenly feel depressed and can identify the reason for doing so.
Endogenous depression is not triggered by an event, but can have roots that go way back in your life and have never been dealt with.
Mild depression usually has just a little impact on your life. Moderate depression has significant impact and severe you would daily life nearly impossible. Your job would be affected, you may not want to get out of bed, wash or eat.
Some illnesses cause depression and some prescriptive medication can also cause depressed moods. Drugs such as Beta Blockers do have such side effects. Its true to say that often we take one drug to help with one thing and then end up taking a whole cocktail of other drugs to counteract the first drug.
Taking cannabis and or cocaine, or alcoholism has significant effects on the chemistry in our brain. So we drink alcohol to drown our sorrows or numb the emotional pain, only for it to cause depression later.
People often find that both drug therapy and emotional therapy with a therapist to be more effective.
If you answer yes to more than a few of these questions, you may have some kind of depression happening. Remember, scientists only know that lack of the chemical serotonin causes depression, but what causes in the imbalance to begin with?
Do you have continuous low moods or bouts of sadness?
No motivation and very little interest in day to day things
Feel snappy with people or irritable with others?
Feelings of worthlessness
Rejection?
Guilt feelings
Suicidal thoughts, (Life would be better without me, I can't cope with all I have to each day)
One minute you feel up and the next you feel very down
Lack of confidence
Difficulty in making decisions
Tired all the time and lack of concentration
Crying a lot and feelings of doom and gloom as if someone may tell you any moment that something dreadful has happened
If you think you are depressed, take action now and do something positive about it. It will not go away on its own.
More women appear to suffer from it, but that could be because they look for help more quickly or recognise it. men may just try to get on with life and bury their head to the affects of depression.
The thing about depression is that if it gets a hold of you, it just does not go away. What kind of help do you look for? Either you down the drug route which often takes weeks to take affect and also there are side effects too. There is also concern about how addictive these types of drugs can be which means when you try to come off them you may experience worse side effects.
Or, you can go down the therapy route and explore what causes you to feel depressed.
Reactive depression can be cause by significant emotional events and experiences that have happened to you. Job loss, relationship breakdowns, moving home etc etc. This is where you suddenly feel depressed and can identify the reason for doing so.
Endogenous depression is not triggered by an event, but can have roots that go way back in your life and have never been dealt with.
Mild depression usually has just a little impact on your life. Moderate depression has significant impact and severe you would daily life nearly impossible. Your job would be affected, you may not want to get out of bed, wash or eat.
Some illnesses cause depression and some prescriptive medication can also cause depressed moods. Drugs such as Beta Blockers do have such side effects. Its true to say that often we take one drug to help with one thing and then end up taking a whole cocktail of other drugs to counteract the first drug.
Taking cannabis and or cocaine, or alcoholism has significant effects on the chemistry in our brain. So we drink alcohol to drown our sorrows or numb the emotional pain, only for it to cause depression later.
People often find that both drug therapy and emotional therapy with a therapist to be more effective.
If you answer yes to more than a few of these questions, you may have some kind of depression happening. Remember, scientists only know that lack of the chemical serotonin causes depression, but what causes in the imbalance to begin with?
Do you have continuous low moods or bouts of sadness?
No motivation and very little interest in day to day things
Feel snappy with people or irritable with others?
Feelings of worthlessness
Rejection?
Guilt feelings
Suicidal thoughts, (Life would be better without me, I can't cope with all I have to each day)
One minute you feel up and the next you feel very down
Lack of confidence
Difficulty in making decisions
Tired all the time and lack of concentration
Crying a lot and feelings of doom and gloom as if someone may tell you any moment that something dreadful has happened
If you think you are depressed, take action now and do something positive about it. It will not go away on its own.
Saturday, 7 April 2012
Can you be 'cured' in just one session?
I am not convinced that anyone who tells you that, 'you only need one session and your problems are cured' is giving you sound advice. If it takes some time to create behaviours, then does it not follow that it also may take some time to change those behaviours too? Hypnotherapy and NLP have a good reputation of being able to help people to change behaviours very quickly, but I doubt that even the best of therapists would want to claim it only takes one session.
Of course if those therapists charge a huge amount of money for just one session, then they may claim to have great results, and who knows, some people may even believe that. For most people though, they are realistic enough to know that behavioural changes come about less quickly than just one session. I would hope that no therapist with integrity would claim to help people overcome panic attacks in just one session. That would be most unfair to clients.
Therapists also need feedback as to how the previous session has gone, and so if you only go once, how does that therapist know if you have made enough changes that will continue?
Best Practice would be that you go for an initial session, experience hypnosis, and see what happens. Go to each session with feedback so that your therapist can evaluate how you are doing. How does any therapist know how quickly you will change? Some clients need three or four sessions, others may need more. A good therapist will be able to judge by what language you use during the following sessions, and how you are making changes in your behaviour.
Of course if those therapists charge a huge amount of money for just one session, then they may claim to have great results, and who knows, some people may even believe that. For most people though, they are realistic enough to know that behavioural changes come about less quickly than just one session. I would hope that no therapist with integrity would claim to help people overcome panic attacks in just one session. That would be most unfair to clients.
Therapists also need feedback as to how the previous session has gone, and so if you only go once, how does that therapist know if you have made enough changes that will continue?
Best Practice would be that you go for an initial session, experience hypnosis, and see what happens. Go to each session with feedback so that your therapist can evaluate how you are doing. How does any therapist know how quickly you will change? Some clients need three or four sessions, others may need more. A good therapist will be able to judge by what language you use during the following sessions, and how you are making changes in your behaviour.
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
Monday, 26 March 2012
Are you fully qualified? 10 questions to ask
If you are contemplating training in NLP, Hypnotherapy or Coaching, you might want to find out if the training enables you to be fully qualified. Just because you have a certificate from your training provider it doesn't necessarily mean you are fully qualified enough to treat clients.
Clients may also want to do some research and find out just how qualified you are. Both NLP and hypnotherapy are amazingly powerful tools to use, but in under qualified hands they can do more harm than good.
I have made up a check list of how you would know that your training has been adequate enough so that you can genuinely call yourself a fully qualified practitioner.
1. Did you regularly attend at least two days per month with an accredited trainer?
2. Did the trainer personally demonstrate the techniques to you?
3. Did you have experiential learning during the course?
4. Were you assessed regularly during the course?
5. Did you have to complete assignments each month and show case studies?
6. Did you attend Best Practice groups with a qualified trainer or assistant on the course?
7. Were you being supervised during the course and after finishing the course?
8. Did you find contact with the training provider and trainers easy both during the course and after?
9. Were you advised as to what ongoing continued personal development (CPD) there would be after the course?
10. Was your qualification externally accredited, i.e. both by the body the training provider belongs to and also by an external verifier?
If you have answered yes to all of this checklist, then you should be sufficiently qualified to help others. If not, maybe you are considering further training to enhance your skills.
Clients may also want to do some research and find out just how qualified you are. Both NLP and hypnotherapy are amazingly powerful tools to use, but in under qualified hands they can do more harm than good.
I have made up a check list of how you would know that your training has been adequate enough so that you can genuinely call yourself a fully qualified practitioner.
1. Did you regularly attend at least two days per month with an accredited trainer?
2. Did the trainer personally demonstrate the techniques to you?
3. Did you have experiential learning during the course?
4. Were you assessed regularly during the course?
5. Did you have to complete assignments each month and show case studies?
6. Did you attend Best Practice groups with a qualified trainer or assistant on the course?
7. Were you being supervised during the course and after finishing the course?
8. Did you find contact with the training provider and trainers easy both during the course and after?
9. Were you advised as to what ongoing continued personal development (CPD) there would be after the course?
10. Was your qualification externally accredited, i.e. both by the body the training provider belongs to and also by an external verifier?
If you have answered yes to all of this checklist, then you should be sufficiently qualified to help others. If not, maybe you are considering further training to enhance your skills.
Wednesday, 21 March 2012
Out of control?
People like to think they are in control of their lives - of what they feel and think. But scientists are now discovering this is often simply an illusion. Surprising experiments are revealing that what you think you do and what you actually do can be very different.
Your unconscious mind is often calling the shots, influencing the decisions you make, from what you eat to who you fall in love with. If you think you are really in control of your life, you may have to think again.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/i/b01dlglq/
Want to train but have not experienced hypnosis?
It is much better to experience hypnosis before starting to train in hypnotherapy. I now offer all students a free session if they have not been hypnotised before. You need to know what it feels like before you begin hypnotising others.
Tuesday, 20 March 2012
Free Introduction to hypnotherapy training
If you are considering a career in hypnotherapy, you would want to ask as many questions as possible. Just because you complete a course does not necessarily imply you will be inundated with clients. Some training providers will tell you that you will. If you want honest facts about this kind of training, come and discuss it with me. I am happy to give you a free hour to discuss how this rewarding career can benefit you and all those you work with.
There will be honest answers, and no obligation to take up any courses. An hour of your time might be the best investment you make.
Thursday, 8 March 2012
FREE resource
They say there is no such thing as a free lunch, but here are some simple ideas to help you to think differently.
We make sense of the world using our five senses. We visualise, we think, we feel, taste and smell. The sixth sense is often referred to as our instincts.
Now, if we do these things externally, we must also do them internally, and that is where we go wrong sometimes. Our thinking causes feelings, and we often make pictures to go along with our thinking. Just think back to an uncomfortable time. What are your thoughts around the experience? Are you making images about that time too? It may be the place you were in or the people you were with. and just notice for a moment how you feel when you think about that time. Not so good? Not a problem? If it is not so good you may be making pictures that seem very bright to you, and if the experience does not bother you, you may not be making a picture at all, or if you do, it may be far away and dull.
It is incredible how the brain works, and most people with post traumatic stress disorder will be seeing the pictures in colour very bright and very near to them, and the words will go along with the image.So do you think it would be a good idea to change the picture, making less bright and less focused? and if you were to change what you were saying to yourself, what difference would that make to your feelings?
We can never get a feeling without a thought. Thoughts come first and then feelings. try it today, keep repeating a word to yourself that could only produce good feelings, and then notice how your feelings change.
Our brains are not that complicated, unless you make them complicated. Work out how you can make your brain act in a different way, and look out for good feelings and thoughts.
Monday, 5 March 2012
What makes NLP training so important?
When I began training, I knew nothing about NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)I thought it sounded like brain washing. I began to realise that we are all brainwashed, either by messages we have had during our early years, or through messages or scripts we learn later in life. We get brainwashed by Soaps on TV, newspapers, the news on TV and magazines. How we are supposed to think feel and behave. And if we don't conform to what we think is expected of us, we then think we are different or not normal.
Remember The Matrix film? The idea there was that we all lived in a computer programme, and nothing was real. Reality was that the world had ended as we knew it and we were being run by computers. To break free, we needed to unplug ourselves from that programme.
NLP allows you to do that so you do think, feel and behave in a different way. A way that is just right for you. If you are thinking about experiencing it, find a good NLP practitioner. One that has completed a bona fide NLP course with a qualified trainer.
If you are thinking about training, then train with someone who is also a bona fide trainer, not just someone who calls his or herself a trainer. In a world where often people say who they are and then it turns out they are not, it is vital you see their qualifications.
Once you have learned the skills, there will be no holding you back.
Saturday, 18 February 2012
Why does hypnosis work so well?
It's a question often asked, and I am not entirely sure I really know the answer. I just know that clients having hypnosis do seem to make quick recoveries.
Whether it is the fact that people learn how to relax really well and feel more confident because of that is one way of thinking. Or whether the unconscious mind accepts new suggestions doesn't really matter that much. We just know that hypnosis does help people to deal with things more easily. They realise that the things they have been worrying about don't appear such a big deal.
People who are looking to increase their confidence notice that they do things with less conscious thought. This becomes normal way of behaving after a short while.
Hypnosis works quickly and effectively, and its good to know that we can make positive changes really quickly
Getting over past friendships
Most people like to hold on to friendships. Maybe because they don't like to admit failure, or because they have to think about what went wrong and if it was their fault.
Here are a few ideas to help you to come to terms with relationships that no longer work.
Does the friendship leave you feeling energised or drained?
Do you feel that the friend let you down or you let them down often?
Do you feel that you give far more than they do for you?
Have you often said that you wonder why you keep the relationship going?
Are you able to communicate with them just as you would like to?
Some friendships have a sell by date. It is normal for them and you to move on. We keep on changing our beliefs and values, so therefore you may begin to think differently and therefore the friend may not agree with your new beliefs.
If someone has behaved really badly towards you, are you always hoping that they will go back to the way they were behaving before? If so, you are in for disappointment because they are probably not going to return to how they felt before.
There is little consolation in remembering what you have done for the friend, either with gifts or emotional support.
Just remember the person with all the good things they did in the past and then let them go. As soon as you do this and stop being bitter or angry you will feel better inside. You will get a softer feeling inside and then feel more comfortable. Keep doing this until you no longer feel angry or upset.
Next, think about the friends you do have. It is time to nurture them and be glad of them. Concentrate on them and be happy that you have some people in your life that do care for you.
Some friendships are meant for life, others are like ships that pass in the night. No matter what has happened, you will have learned from them in some way.
Good friendships are like stars. You can't always see them but you know that they are there.
Tuesday, 14 February 2012
Quick way to learn how to relax!
If you can spare a few moments to read this, you may also be able to spare a few more moments to do some deep breathing.
Some people think that deep breathing is not that beneficial to reduce stress and can't be bothered to do this. Why? Because it is too simple, but spending just five or more minutes per day doing some really deep breathing can reduce stress enormously.
The next blog tells you how to breathe properly.
No matter how busy some people are, they will endeavor to find time to de-stress themselves daily. Stress is one of the largest causes of illness. It weakens our immune system and leads the way for infections and diseases to take hold. You only have to see stressed people who appear to constantly ill or are quick to pick up viruses or don't shake them off quickly. Our immune system is meant to shake off disease and viruses but not if it is compromised.
Here is what you do, and if you do this every day for a week you will notice the difference in how you are feeling. It will also reduce your blood pressure.
Lie down or sit comfortably with as little distractions as possible. Close your eyes and take a nice slow deep breath in as if you are swallowing the breath. Do this through your nostrils NOT through your mouth. Do not hold the breath, but let it creep out slowly. You should almost hear is hissing out. Get into a rhythm of breathing in and out gently, and easily. Ideally you should be breathing in and out less than ten times per minute. Do this for as long as you have time. Even five minutes per day is good. Happy Breathing!
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
Earn loads of money!!!
It never fails to amaze me how some training providers lure people in with the promise of making huge amounts of money. I have heard many stories over the years. One person told me that he paid a huge amount of money to make wills for people. He was promised leads etc etc, but nothing materialised. He lost £12,000. He said he could afford to lose the money but there were people who had borrowed or put in on their credit card and with nothing to show for it. We often hear about multi level marketing and someone says they have three holidays per year, drive an Aston Martin etc etc. Maybe if you get in on the ground level perhaps, but selling door to door is never going to buy you and Aston Martin. Well if it does, let me know!
When I began to train seven years ago, I made a promise to myself that I would never lure students in with the promise of making huge amounts of money. I believe it is unethical, and it shatters peoples dreams when they find it just does not happen that way. Most people looking to change their career and become a hypnotherapist want to do it because they have a genuine passion about helping people. If anyone honestly believes that straight after training they are going to be making large amounts of money are deluding themselves. Perhaps they are sold a dream by the training provider. It just isn't fair to make people believe success is just around the corner.
Training providers are doing just that. providing you with some skills. They are in business. To make it work for you, there is even more hard work round the corner when you have qualified.
I have been in practice for 12 years and training hypnotherapy and NLP for seven years. I like to think I am quite successful now as many people are aware of me and I get many referrals from GPs and other professionals. When I first began my career, I knew no one, no one knew me. I was working from home, and during those first few years I slogged my way through networking early morning breakfasts, speaking at groups, talking to anyone and everyone who may have been interested in hypnosis. I spoke on radio Norfolk and managed to get some good articles in the newspapers. All that hard work paid off and I became busier and more successful. I also spent a lot more money on good quality training. Real accreditation that meant something to me and others.
I still have ongoing training to keep me in touch with what is happening in the therapy world. I am also a trained life and business coach and have worked hard gaining a level five accreditation for the Institute of Leadership and Management.
So this gives you some idea of the work you have to do to become a good quality therapist. Someone I interviewed once for my course said that he could no longer do manual work and thought that being a therapist was a doddle. Just to sit there and earn £60 must be easy he said. I wondered what planet he was from and quickly talked him out of doing one of my courses. He may well have joined a course from the providers who would totally agree with him and that yes he could earn that money just sitting there doing nothing. I doubt it though as I never see his name on Google or in yellow Pages. That is the sad truth, most people who have that deluded dream never make it and then they have lost all that money. If you are reading this because you are looking for a career in hypnotherapy, and have a genuine desire to help people and are passionate about working with all kinds of different people with all kinds of different problems, then come and talk to us. If you just want to make money, then go to the others. They will be happy to take your money off you.
When I began to train seven years ago, I made a promise to myself that I would never lure students in with the promise of making huge amounts of money. I believe it is unethical, and it shatters peoples dreams when they find it just does not happen that way. Most people looking to change their career and become a hypnotherapist want to do it because they have a genuine passion about helping people. If anyone honestly believes that straight after training they are going to be making large amounts of money are deluding themselves. Perhaps they are sold a dream by the training provider. It just isn't fair to make people believe success is just around the corner.
Training providers are doing just that. providing you with some skills. They are in business. To make it work for you, there is even more hard work round the corner when you have qualified.
I have been in practice for 12 years and training hypnotherapy and NLP for seven years. I like to think I am quite successful now as many people are aware of me and I get many referrals from GPs and other professionals. When I first began my career, I knew no one, no one knew me. I was working from home, and during those first few years I slogged my way through networking early morning breakfasts, speaking at groups, talking to anyone and everyone who may have been interested in hypnosis. I spoke on radio Norfolk and managed to get some good articles in the newspapers. All that hard work paid off and I became busier and more successful. I also spent a lot more money on good quality training. Real accreditation that meant something to me and others.
I still have ongoing training to keep me in touch with what is happening in the therapy world. I am also a trained life and business coach and have worked hard gaining a level five accreditation for the Institute of Leadership and Management.
So this gives you some idea of the work you have to do to become a good quality therapist. Someone I interviewed once for my course said that he could no longer do manual work and thought that being a therapist was a doddle. Just to sit there and earn £60 must be easy he said. I wondered what planet he was from and quickly talked him out of doing one of my courses. He may well have joined a course from the providers who would totally agree with him and that yes he could earn that money just sitting there doing nothing. I doubt it though as I never see his name on Google or in yellow Pages. That is the sad truth, most people who have that deluded dream never make it and then they have lost all that money. If you are reading this because you are looking for a career in hypnotherapy, and have a genuine desire to help people and are passionate about working with all kinds of different people with all kinds of different problems, then come and talk to us. If you just want to make money, then go to the others. They will be happy to take your money off you.
Sunday, 29 January 2012
BM
Before BM means before mobiles. Whatever did we do before we had them? I was thinking about when you arrange to meet someone and they or you are late. Now it is easy to text or BBM saying you are running late. There must have been so much stress before mobiles as you had no way of contacting them, and you would go through the routine of wondering if you had the right time and place, or day!
Of course the downside is if you have a mobile, you are too easy contactable, unless you switch it off which I keep reminding myself to do.
Of course the downside is if you have a mobile, you are too easy contactable, unless you switch it off which I keep reminding myself to do.
Stress stress and even more stress
Chicken soup for the soul? Less stress is even better. It is not easy to quantify just how damaging stress is for the body and mind, but now even leading heart surgeons are saying that stress is a major contributor of heart disease.
If you answer yes to these questions, then you are stressed, but it does not mean you are ALWAYS stressed. It could be you are stressed now, and then shake it off quickly. It is not the stress we feel, it is how long we continue to be stressed. That is what causes the most damage to our mind and body.
1 Do you wake up with an uncomfortable feeling in your body, like a nervousness?
2 Do you constantly worry what other people think of you?
3 Do you go over conversations you have had with people, and worrying about what you might have said or not said?
4 Do you find it difficult to go to sleep, or wake up after a few hours with your heart and mind racing away?
5 Do you feel as though you have lost your spark or zest for life?
6 Do you wish that you could just stay in bed and not have to face life with all the problems you have?
7 Do you keep saying 'what if this happens, what if that happens'?
8 Do you often feel as though you have the weight of the world on your shoulders?
9 Are you a half empty glass most times?
10 Do you find yourself going over and over problems but getting nowhere?
If you have answered yes to half or more, you are experiencing long term stress. Especially if this is happening longer than a week. Most people feel stress, but it is how you deal with it. Cave men felt stressed when tackling woolly mammoths and other scary creatures, but then calmed down when the chase was over, and maybe even felt great when they won and the family had meat to eat. Our bodies are well equipped to deal with stress, and now the woolly mammoth could be the boss, a car coming towards you, but the feeling is the same. Survive and you live to fight another day.
The good news is that you don't have to put up with stress for too long. Learning how to relax, and learning how to run your mind even better are the first steps in being in control
If you answer yes to these questions, then you are stressed, but it does not mean you are ALWAYS stressed. It could be you are stressed now, and then shake it off quickly. It is not the stress we feel, it is how long we continue to be stressed. That is what causes the most damage to our mind and body.
1 Do you wake up with an uncomfortable feeling in your body, like a nervousness?
2 Do you constantly worry what other people think of you?
3 Do you go over conversations you have had with people, and worrying about what you might have said or not said?
4 Do you find it difficult to go to sleep, or wake up after a few hours with your heart and mind racing away?
5 Do you feel as though you have lost your spark or zest for life?
6 Do you wish that you could just stay in bed and not have to face life with all the problems you have?
7 Do you keep saying 'what if this happens, what if that happens'?
8 Do you often feel as though you have the weight of the world on your shoulders?
9 Are you a half empty glass most times?
10 Do you find yourself going over and over problems but getting nowhere?
If you have answered yes to half or more, you are experiencing long term stress. Especially if this is happening longer than a week. Most people feel stress, but it is how you deal with it. Cave men felt stressed when tackling woolly mammoths and other scary creatures, but then calmed down when the chase was over, and maybe even felt great when they won and the family had meat to eat. Our bodies are well equipped to deal with stress, and now the woolly mammoth could be the boss, a car coming towards you, but the feeling is the same. Survive and you live to fight another day.
The good news is that you don't have to put up with stress for too long. Learning how to relax, and learning how to run your mind even better are the first steps in being in control
Friday, 13 January 2012
New Year new promises
Many of us make promises to ourselves at New Year. It might be about our health or weight, or wanting to give up bad habits. Usually we are at our most motivated to want to do something about it, but when push comes to shove, we lack the real stamina and motivation that we need to keep going with our resolutions. I wonder what it means to you to resolve something. Resolve to stop smoking, drinking too much, eating too much? Resolve to make our life better in some way?
I start off at this time of year thinking of all the things I would like to do that creates well-being and happiness. It might be something as simple like going on the Broads on my little boat, or making even more time to be with people I really love being with.
If I was given a wish list and was told I could only have one thing, I am sure it would have to be being with friends and family I love and who love me. That means wanting to be in their company, laughing with them and just feeling relaxed inside. I think you can always tell if that is the case when you leave them and notice if you feel relaxed and calm inside. If you can't wait to get away from them to discuss them, then they are not really friends. Families often have terrible times during Christmas, and I hear people saying they wonder why they bother with them. There are two sides to this debate. One part is that they are family and the old saying blood is thicker than water. The other side is would we want to spend times with those people if they were so called friends? I really do like the saying you can pick your friends but not your family. Families don't always get on and have the same beliefs and values, and so I wonder why we try our best to get on with people whose beliefs and values are not at all like ours. I think it takes some courage to let go of some people and find people who truly respect us for who we are and we respect them too. I use this saying often to clients. ' We were not put into this world to live up to other peoples expectations and neither were they. We do expect a lot from families, probably more than friends, and when they don't live up to our expectations we feel let down. I learned many years ago to let go of wanting to control situations and wanting people to live up to my expectations. Sometimes I find myself falling into that trap of doing just that, and then a little voice inside my head tells me to STOP, and just let it go. I do though, often feel sad when clients tell me that they have given up on their parents. Unless a parent is truly physically or mentally cruel to you, and then you would have the right to choose not to be with them if they continued that behaviour, then not expecting them to be perfect or do what you want them to do or be is an easier way to deal with family. I do recall my mother telling me that I was to wait until I was a mother before criticising her, and it took me a long time to realise how right she was. No parent is given a manual when they have children. They just do the best they can with the resources they have at that time. And, no matter how much we say we will be different with our children, we can still be blamed for many things. Your parents won't always be around, and regret is hard to live with.
I start off at this time of year thinking of all the things I would like to do that creates well-being and happiness. It might be something as simple like going on the Broads on my little boat, or making even more time to be with people I really love being with.
If I was given a wish list and was told I could only have one thing, I am sure it would have to be being with friends and family I love and who love me. That means wanting to be in their company, laughing with them and just feeling relaxed inside. I think you can always tell if that is the case when you leave them and notice if you feel relaxed and calm inside. If you can't wait to get away from them to discuss them, then they are not really friends. Families often have terrible times during Christmas, and I hear people saying they wonder why they bother with them. There are two sides to this debate. One part is that they are family and the old saying blood is thicker than water. The other side is would we want to spend times with those people if they were so called friends? I really do like the saying you can pick your friends but not your family. Families don't always get on and have the same beliefs and values, and so I wonder why we try our best to get on with people whose beliefs and values are not at all like ours. I think it takes some courage to let go of some people and find people who truly respect us for who we are and we respect them too. I use this saying often to clients. ' We were not put into this world to live up to other peoples expectations and neither were they. We do expect a lot from families, probably more than friends, and when they don't live up to our expectations we feel let down. I learned many years ago to let go of wanting to control situations and wanting people to live up to my expectations. Sometimes I find myself falling into that trap of doing just that, and then a little voice inside my head tells me to STOP, and just let it go. I do though, often feel sad when clients tell me that they have given up on their parents. Unless a parent is truly physically or mentally cruel to you, and then you would have the right to choose not to be with them if they continued that behaviour, then not expecting them to be perfect or do what you want them to do or be is an easier way to deal with family. I do recall my mother telling me that I was to wait until I was a mother before criticising her, and it took me a long time to realise how right she was. No parent is given a manual when they have children. They just do the best they can with the resources they have at that time. And, no matter how much we say we will be different with our children, we can still be blamed for many things. Your parents won't always be around, and regret is hard to live with.
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