No matter how well you train your brain to be in control, it often behave in a very different way when you are under stress. We can go into meltdown, which means we are unable to function properly for a certain time. Our mind blanks out and we cannot think straight.
For some people this kind of feeling goes on for far too long, and they find themselves unable to cope with everyday situations, like work and home life. They only seem able to think of the stressful situation, going from emotion to emotion like sadness, anger, desperation and so on and so on.
For others, they seem to be able to put the stress to one side and get on with their day to day jobs and social situations. This does not mean they are better in any way than us, and nor does it mean we are wimps if we are unable to cope.
What it does mean is that we have to find some other coping strategies to deal with stress or it will deal with us in a way that is most unsuitable, which then leads to depression.
If you are under major stress right now, see if any of the ways I suggest help you.
By all means talk to people, but do your very best to talk of other things rather than keep going over the stressful situation. They may not be able to help you with the stress, but they can listen to you and maybe even take your mind of the stress for a short while. Laughter is good even in the face of adversity. Laughter was very important during the war, or people would have gone under.
If you keep talking about the stress your friends and family will get fed up with you talking about the same thing, especially if you are not prepared to do anything about it in terms of you changing some strategies.
If you don't feel like talking to friends do your level best to keep in touch with them, even if it is a text to say you are glad they are your friends but you need time to think things through. If you don't keep in touch, your friends may think you don't want them anymore and they may not be there when you do need them. They will understand providing you let them know you still need them in your life.
Go and see a therapist. They are non judgmental and impartial, and will help you to deal with stressful situations. Any good therapist will not allow you to keep talking about the stress as that will just re-enforce it even more. Instead, a good therapist will help you with coping strategies. If they don't, stop going and find another therapist. Talk to them on the phone before making an appointment and ask specifically how they will help you.
Go for long walks on the beach if you can and let the wind blow through your hair. If it helps, get angry on the walk, but when you turn around make sure you have some good thoughts and maybe a few smiles on the way back. (Think of all the people you love and who are good to you)
Do some different things if you can, no matter how small they are.
Give yourself a self pity moment during the day or evening, and then stop and get on with other things.
These suggestions are helpful to many people. Let them help you.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Stop smoking with drugs
I nearly fell off my chair when I read about the side effects of Champix, the anti smoking drug. There was a list of side effects, all particularly nasty, but the worst was suicidal thoughts.
It may cause psychosis, depression or in a worst case scenario, it read, suicide. It may be though, it went on to add, that even stopping smoking may cause suicidal thoughts. How clever the drug companies are that they lead you to believe it is your fault for stopping smoking that causes suicidal thoughts. I was of the opinion that Champix was meant to stop you wanting to smoke, so what would make you feel suicidal if you had no craving.
I know many people are desperate to stop smoking, but do consider other ways first before embarking on drugs that could potentially cause horrid side effects that could last a long time. There is certainly not enough evidence that these drugs are really successful. Drug companies make millions and millions each year, and they don't appear to care enough about all the dreadful side effects that the drug can cause. Drugs don't stop psychological urges, they just suppress the desire, or that is what they are meant to do. Nothing works 100%, even hypnosis, but the one thing you can be sure of and that is you won't have suicidal thoughts, or bad dreams, or rashes, or depression with hypnosis.
It may cause psychosis, depression or in a worst case scenario, it read, suicide. It may be though, it went on to add, that even stopping smoking may cause suicidal thoughts. How clever the drug companies are that they lead you to believe it is your fault for stopping smoking that causes suicidal thoughts. I was of the opinion that Champix was meant to stop you wanting to smoke, so what would make you feel suicidal if you had no craving.
I know many people are desperate to stop smoking, but do consider other ways first before embarking on drugs that could potentially cause horrid side effects that could last a long time. There is certainly not enough evidence that these drugs are really successful. Drug companies make millions and millions each year, and they don't appear to care enough about all the dreadful side effects that the drug can cause. Drugs don't stop psychological urges, they just suppress the desire, or that is what they are meant to do. Nothing works 100%, even hypnosis, but the one thing you can be sure of and that is you won't have suicidal thoughts, or bad dreams, or rashes, or depression with hypnosis.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
And another thing that can lead you to towards happiness
I thought of another thing yesterday that can lead you towards happiness.
Stop worrying about what people think of you and stop comparing yourself with others. We probably start this when we copy other children when we are small. It is normal at that stage in life. It leads to unhappiness when we continue to do it through life, especially if we don't think we do compare well with others.
Accept you as you are, do your best in whatever you do, and appreciate yourself. Recall all the good things you are capable of and the things you have achieved in life no matter how small they are.
Try it and see what happens. It has got to be better than any negative way of thinking.
Monday, May 7, 2012
How to be happy and be in control
Many people, when asked how they would like to be, say 'happy'. What does happiness mean to you?
Having lots of money does not necessarily create happiness so they say, but I expect there are a lot of rich people who would say they are happy. There are some rich people out there who look very miserable. Is inner happiness more important than wealth?
I have some ideas of how we can create inner happiness, and it is all to do with the way you think. It is quite easy to be miserable, it takes mere seconds to create bad pictures and thoughts in our head, and there you go, the recipe for unhappiness. We can't always be happy. Life throws things at us that can cause us to feel unhappy, but it depends on how long you want that unhappiness to last. Some people make a career out of being and staying unhappy. Whether it serves a purpose or not I don't know. Some people make it their business to do their best to be happy no matter what is going on around them.
I have some tips on how to stay happy. We have a right to reject the idea of working to be happy, and a right to do our best to be happy.
1 When you wake up each day, rather than let your mind control you with miserable thoughts, think of something immediately that is a good thought, something funny, or really pleasant. Keep your mind focused on that thought for as long as you can
2 If something bad happens to you, tell yourself that it will pass. Everything does pass. Only allow yourself a certain amount of time to dwell on whatever it is and then get on with life
3 Each day, think of all the good things you have done in life
4 Do your best to make someone else happy. A kind word, something you give them, or just smiling and looking friendly
5 Think of all the good things that people have done for you, and not just recently, but as far back as you can recall. You may not even be in contact any more with these people, but they did something good for you at some time in your life
6 Imagine only for a moment what would happen to your thoughts if you did not have the people you love most in your life, and then feel happy that they are in your life
7 Get involved with people who are genuinely happy. Stay away from doom and gloom people, they bring you down
8 If you have to mix with doom and gloomers, keep changing the subject to happier things
9 Stop reading newspapers. They make you feel depressed or get you to feel mad about the world
10 If you really want to know what goes on in the world, do some charity work or become involved with people less fortunate than yourself
You have control of how your mind works despite the fact you may not think so. If you really cannot do this for yourself, find a good NLPer and hypnotherapist, and they will gladly show you how to do it. If they look unhappy themselves, find someone else who has learned to run their mind the right way
Having lots of money does not necessarily create happiness so they say, but I expect there are a lot of rich people who would say they are happy. There are some rich people out there who look very miserable. Is inner happiness more important than wealth?
I have some ideas of how we can create inner happiness, and it is all to do with the way you think. It is quite easy to be miserable, it takes mere seconds to create bad pictures and thoughts in our head, and there you go, the recipe for unhappiness. We can't always be happy. Life throws things at us that can cause us to feel unhappy, but it depends on how long you want that unhappiness to last. Some people make a career out of being and staying unhappy. Whether it serves a purpose or not I don't know. Some people make it their business to do their best to be happy no matter what is going on around them.
I have some tips on how to stay happy. We have a right to reject the idea of working to be happy, and a right to do our best to be happy.
1 When you wake up each day, rather than let your mind control you with miserable thoughts, think of something immediately that is a good thought, something funny, or really pleasant. Keep your mind focused on that thought for as long as you can
2 If something bad happens to you, tell yourself that it will pass. Everything does pass. Only allow yourself a certain amount of time to dwell on whatever it is and then get on with life
3 Each day, think of all the good things you have done in life
4 Do your best to make someone else happy. A kind word, something you give them, or just smiling and looking friendly
5 Think of all the good things that people have done for you, and not just recently, but as far back as you can recall. You may not even be in contact any more with these people, but they did something good for you at some time in your life
6 Imagine only for a moment what would happen to your thoughts if you did not have the people you love most in your life, and then feel happy that they are in your life
7 Get involved with people who are genuinely happy. Stay away from doom and gloom people, they bring you down
8 If you have to mix with doom and gloomers, keep changing the subject to happier things
9 Stop reading newspapers. They make you feel depressed or get you to feel mad about the world
10 If you really want to know what goes on in the world, do some charity work or become involved with people less fortunate than yourself
You have control of how your mind works despite the fact you may not think so. If you really cannot do this for yourself, find a good NLPer and hypnotherapist, and they will gladly show you how to do it. If they look unhappy themselves, find someone else who has learned to run their mind the right way
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
How to treat depression
There are some things you can do for yourself to get over depression.
It might be chicken and egg time, in as much as you don't have the motivation to do anything, but you do have to start somewhere. That is if you want to get better.
First of all, ask yourself how much do you really want to get better. On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most motivated, where are you right now? If it is below five, you may have to ask someone to help you to get motivated to begin with.
Change your diet. There are so many foods that help with depression. Find out all the foods that increase good chemicals in your brain.
Get plenty of sunshine. The natural vitamin D helps enormously.
Get some exercise into your life. It makes no difference what you do, whether it is just walking or cycling or running. No need to pay expensive gym fees especially if you think you will give up soon. Do the free things first and then make a choice of what exercise to do later. Walking gets you fresh air. If you have a dog or can offer to walk someones dog so much the better. Do just a little to begin with, don't push yourself too hard at first and then build it up.
Find a beach if you are near one and try walking along the beach very early in the morning. If no one is around shout out all your troubles into the wind and sea and imagine they are being carried away by the sea and wind.
Talk to someone who is impartial. Often friends and family mean well, but they only see things from their perspective. They may often say, 'well if I were you I would do this this and that'. They are not you and have a different mind set. This is one of the reasons why people often turn to a therapist because they are impartial and have your best interest at heart. They are also skilled people, so go to those people you think you can trust and have experienced and are well trained. Do your own homework first, it is important to find the right help.
If your GP suggests drug therapy ie medication, ask about the drug, find out for yourself the side effects. The internet will give you all the information.
Your GP may offer CBT through the practice. You may have to wait a long time and CBT can also take a longer time to make any differences. All talking therapy helps though so never discount and offers of listening to you. Friends and family will eventually get fed up with you talking about the same thing each time, so rely on therapists to help you to understand yourself better and show you how to become a much more resourceful person.
Remember, grief is a natural process, don't try to rush it through. You have to let your body and mind deal with the effects of grief. It is normal. Don't rush down the drug route as that is not going to ease the grief.
It might be chicken and egg time, in as much as you don't have the motivation to do anything, but you do have to start somewhere. That is if you want to get better.
First of all, ask yourself how much do you really want to get better. On a scale of one to ten, ten being the most motivated, where are you right now? If it is below five, you may have to ask someone to help you to get motivated to begin with.
Change your diet. There are so many foods that help with depression. Find out all the foods that increase good chemicals in your brain.
Get plenty of sunshine. The natural vitamin D helps enormously.
Get some exercise into your life. It makes no difference what you do, whether it is just walking or cycling or running. No need to pay expensive gym fees especially if you think you will give up soon. Do the free things first and then make a choice of what exercise to do later. Walking gets you fresh air. If you have a dog or can offer to walk someones dog so much the better. Do just a little to begin with, don't push yourself too hard at first and then build it up.
Find a beach if you are near one and try walking along the beach very early in the morning. If no one is around shout out all your troubles into the wind and sea and imagine they are being carried away by the sea and wind.
Talk to someone who is impartial. Often friends and family mean well, but they only see things from their perspective. They may often say, 'well if I were you I would do this this and that'. They are not you and have a different mind set. This is one of the reasons why people often turn to a therapist because they are impartial and have your best interest at heart. They are also skilled people, so go to those people you think you can trust and have experienced and are well trained. Do your own homework first, it is important to find the right help.
If your GP suggests drug therapy ie medication, ask about the drug, find out for yourself the side effects. The internet will give you all the information.
Your GP may offer CBT through the practice. You may have to wait a long time and CBT can also take a longer time to make any differences. All talking therapy helps though so never discount and offers of listening to you. Friends and family will eventually get fed up with you talking about the same thing each time, so rely on therapists to help you to understand yourself better and show you how to become a much more resourceful person.
Remember, grief is a natural process, don't try to rush it through. You have to let your body and mind deal with the effects of grief. It is normal. Don't rush down the drug route as that is not going to ease the grief.
How do you know if you are depressed?
Depression affects most of us from time to time, and it can be low level or serious enough to stop us functioning properly.
More women appear to suffer from it, but that could be because they look for help more quickly or recognise it. men may just try to get on with life and bury their head to the affects of depression.
The thing about depression is that if it gets a hold of you, it just does not go away. What kind of help do you look for? Either you down the drug route which often takes weeks to take affect and also there are side effects too. There is also concern about how addictive these types of drugs can be which means when you try to come off them you may experience worse side effects.
Or, you can go down the therapy route and explore what causes you to feel depressed.
Reactive depression can be cause by significant emotional events and experiences that have happened to you. Job loss, relationship breakdowns, moving home etc etc. This is where you suddenly feel depressed and can identify the reason for doing so.
Endogenous depression is not triggered by an event, but can have roots that go way back in your life and have never been dealt with.
Mild depression usually has just a little impact on your life. Moderate depression has significant impact and severe you would daily life nearly impossible. Your job would be affected, you may not want to get out of bed, wash or eat.
Some illnesses cause depression and some prescriptive medication can also cause depressed moods. Drugs such as Beta Blockers do have such side effects. Its true to say that often we take one drug to help with one thing and then end up taking a whole cocktail of other drugs to counteract the first drug.
Taking cannabis and or cocaine, or alcoholism has significant effects on the chemistry in our brain. So we drink alcohol to drown our sorrows or numb the emotional pain, only for it to cause depression later.
People often find that both drug therapy and emotional therapy with a therapist to be more effective.
If you answer yes to more than a few of these questions, you may have some kind of depression happening. Remember, scientists only know that lack of the chemical serotonin causes depression, but what causes in the imbalance to begin with?
Do you have continuous low moods or bouts of sadness?
No motivation and very little interest in day to day things
Feel snappy with people or irritable with others?
Feelings of worthlessness
Rejection?
Guilt feelings
Suicidal thoughts, (Life would be better without me, I can't cope with all I have to each day)
One minute you feel up and the next you feel very down
Lack of confidence
Difficulty in making decisions
Tired all the time and lack of concentration
Crying a lot and feelings of doom and gloom as if someone may tell you any moment that something dreadful has happened
If you think you are depressed, take action now and do something positive about it. It will not go away on its own.
More women appear to suffer from it, but that could be because they look for help more quickly or recognise it. men may just try to get on with life and bury their head to the affects of depression.
The thing about depression is that if it gets a hold of you, it just does not go away. What kind of help do you look for? Either you down the drug route which often takes weeks to take affect and also there are side effects too. There is also concern about how addictive these types of drugs can be which means when you try to come off them you may experience worse side effects.
Or, you can go down the therapy route and explore what causes you to feel depressed.
Reactive depression can be cause by significant emotional events and experiences that have happened to you. Job loss, relationship breakdowns, moving home etc etc. This is where you suddenly feel depressed and can identify the reason for doing so.
Endogenous depression is not triggered by an event, but can have roots that go way back in your life and have never been dealt with.
Mild depression usually has just a little impact on your life. Moderate depression has significant impact and severe you would daily life nearly impossible. Your job would be affected, you may not want to get out of bed, wash or eat.
Some illnesses cause depression and some prescriptive medication can also cause depressed moods. Drugs such as Beta Blockers do have such side effects. Its true to say that often we take one drug to help with one thing and then end up taking a whole cocktail of other drugs to counteract the first drug.
Taking cannabis and or cocaine, or alcoholism has significant effects on the chemistry in our brain. So we drink alcohol to drown our sorrows or numb the emotional pain, only for it to cause depression later.
People often find that both drug therapy and emotional therapy with a therapist to be more effective.
If you answer yes to more than a few of these questions, you may have some kind of depression happening. Remember, scientists only know that lack of the chemical serotonin causes depression, but what causes in the imbalance to begin with?
Do you have continuous low moods or bouts of sadness?
No motivation and very little interest in day to day things
Feel snappy with people or irritable with others?
Feelings of worthlessness
Rejection?
Guilt feelings
Suicidal thoughts, (Life would be better without me, I can't cope with all I have to each day)
One minute you feel up and the next you feel very down
Lack of confidence
Difficulty in making decisions
Tired all the time and lack of concentration
Crying a lot and feelings of doom and gloom as if someone may tell you any moment that something dreadful has happened
If you think you are depressed, take action now and do something positive about it. It will not go away on its own.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Can you be 'cured' in just one session?
I am not convinced that anyone who tells you that, 'you only need one session and your problems are cured' is giving you sound advice. If it takes some time to create behaviours, then does it not follow that it also may take some time to change those behaviours too? Hypnotherapy and NLP have a good reputation of being able to help people to change behaviours very quickly, but I doubt that even the best of therapists would want to claim it only takes one session.
Of course if those therapists charge a huge amount of money for just one session, then they may claim to have great results, and who knows, some people may even believe that. For most people though, they are realistic enough to know that behavioural changes come about less quickly than just one session. I would hope that no therapist with integrity would claim to help people overcome panic attacks in just one session. That would be most unfair to clients.
Therapists also need feedback as to how the previous session has gone, and so if you only go once, how does that therapist know if you have made enough changes that will continue?
Best Practice would be that you go for an initial session, experience hypnosis, and see what happens. Go to each session with feedback so that your therapist can evaluate how you are doing. How does any therapist know how quickly you will change? Some clients need three or four sessions, others may need more. A good therapist will be able to judge by what language you use during the following sessions, and how you are making changes in your behaviour.
Of course if those therapists charge a huge amount of money for just one session, then they may claim to have great results, and who knows, some people may even believe that. For most people though, they are realistic enough to know that behavioural changes come about less quickly than just one session. I would hope that no therapist with integrity would claim to help people overcome panic attacks in just one session. That would be most unfair to clients.
Therapists also need feedback as to how the previous session has gone, and so if you only go once, how does that therapist know if you have made enough changes that will continue?
Best Practice would be that you go for an initial session, experience hypnosis, and see what happens. Go to each session with feedback so that your therapist can evaluate how you are doing. How does any therapist know how quickly you will change? Some clients need three or four sessions, others may need more. A good therapist will be able to judge by what language you use during the following sessions, and how you are making changes in your behaviour.
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